I know you don't know me but I am going to give you a bit of advice. Please don't take it the wrong way because we are all on a similar journey.

It is not just your journey if you are married. It is his also. He may be worried about you. He might be scared as to what is going to happen and needed someone to share concerns with without worrying you. Now I am not defending the fact that he went against your wishes at all. It is all up to us who went want to tell and who we don't. I am just saying that while it may be your journey it is going to affect your husband. It will affect your children if you have any. For good or bad, better or worse he needs to be in this with you.

When i decided to do this, I told everyone. I got the bullshit advice from well meaning friends and the stupid crap like omg I knew a girl who died.

One day we had a gathering of friends and they were all going off about this horror story or that. These were my husband's friends. He stood up in the middle of the room and told everyone to shut up. He said this is her decision and if you cannot be supportive, do not say another damn thing in my house. They clammed up immediately. This was about 6 months ago.

Girl it is totally up to you who you tell.. I guess the point behind that is to see if maybe he is worried or scared. Sometimes, we get caught up in our journey and do not really hear the other person when they say they are worried or scared. Even if he is full on behind you having the surgery he could still be worried about anything going wrong while you are under.

If his parents cant be supportive of you, ignore them. I know that is hard to do but I have had to have frank conversations with my mother in law because of how she treats people in my house. We teach people how to treat us.

Be proud of what you are doing. You made it through pre op and that is fantastic! You will do fine on the band journey. Just love each other and don't spend too much time being angry with him. You are beginning the journey of a lifetime tomorrow. Good luck to you and speedy recovery!

Thanks for the advice, when you put it like that it make since. I just wanted to tell people on my own term. And he lied. That just pushes my button

You are doing fantastic ! You are doing this for you and Leslie that was a good honest post. Good luck to you lady! Meet ya on the other side!! and prayers for a safe and speedy recovery tomorrow! you are gonna rock it!

Leslie...excellent point! My husband too is very, very nervous for me and so are the kids. I have acknowledged his fears and understand his concerns. But in the past, I would feel selfish for "putting him" through any discomfort and feel guilty that my kids are nervous about surgery. The truth is, he does not have a weight issue.....and with clear, honest amd sometimes assertive words....I laid out that if I "caved" into his worries and concerns...again....I would be fat and unhealthy forever.

There is a way to make this journey OUR OWN and ease the fears of the people in our lives by doing well and forging on.

Make room for me on that wagon, I didn't realize how scared my husband had been for me until 8 months later, when visiting some friends. The wife told me he had been so scared for me, but because it was something I wanted so badly he supported me. I had talked to him before about it, but he said he was fine with it.. make sure everyone knows whats going on and validate their feelings. Yes ultimately the decision is ours but we have to think about them as well. I didn't tell my family not to tell anyone, it was a private issue. It was a private issue, until I was told that someone was commenting how good I looked and another so-called" friend, comments oh she didn't do it on her own, she had the lapband done and proceeds to put her own pictures of herself how she had lost weight on her own.Since I don't follow this persons comments I was unaware. I confronted this person and asked her to remove her comments , that it was a private problem and I didn't appreciate what she did. Not that I was embarrassed but it wasn't her place to tell people. She never said a word..

We are all doing this for our health, so we can be around longer for our loved ones and I know I said this to my family.I want to enjoy the rest of my life, living in the real world not sitting on the couch in front of the tv. good luck to all of us!

Hey.. I hope you are doing well today!