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Bad Advice Buddy

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Kime-lou

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When I first started thinking about being banded I talked to a co-worker who had lost 60 + lbs and gotten to a size 10 after being banded. She was really encouraging and told me if I did it she would be there to help me along.

 

Well after being banded she turned on me- she was always telling me I was doing it wrong and not being helpful at all. I stopped discussing the band with her to prevent any bad feelings after all I have to work with this woman. Since my surgery it's like it pushed her to get back on the wagon and she has lost an additional 20 lbs and is rubbing it in my face. Rude a little?

 

Now she has begun telling me things like-

you can eat reg food after getting a fill, it won't hurt you- your doctor is to restrictive

you don't need to drink all that water it's not good for you

you are getting fills to often

 

I do not ask for advice, but I get it anyway. Frankly I just ignore her advice because we didn't have the same surgeon and I trust and like my surgeon and prefer to listen to him not her.

 

Her bad advice is just bugging me. Yes, she has had great success and done very well, looks great. I don't know if she is following the same things she is telling me or if she is trying to sabatoge me. I refuse to listen to her, but now she is giving advice to someone else who is considering the band, which upsets me because this person doesn't know anything about it. I want to step up and say something, but that person hasn't come to me to ask for advice so I feel like it would be butting in and could possibly cause some tention in the work place.

 

My weight loss has been painfully slow, but it will keep coming down. I am happy that I was banded and have finally excepted that my body will drop the weight on it's on time table. I gained a little over Christmas, but feel confident that I will take it off.

 

It's just hard to come to work and have someone rub their loss in your face and tell you that you are doing it wrong when I am doing what my doctor say do.

 

What's a girl to do?

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Kime, I can't stress enough on this site how much everyone is different and we all have to follow to the beat of our own drum. No two are going to lose the same, no two will eat the same, no two will burn/lose the same. Its science, our bodies are not built the same and what works for one, does not neccessarily work for the other.

Keep doing what you are doing that works for you, because you are doing fabulous!

Ignorance is bliss so they say.......

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negative nellies are running wild in these here parts.

let her say whatever but YOU keep doing what works for you.

you are not her and what works for her does not and should NOT work for you.

i think if you continue to do well, maybe she will too.

sounds as if you gave her a (little encouragement) by having your band.

so just be you, be nice, kind, helpful, thoughtful and realize you

are doing this for you the right way. and wish her the best and if i know you like i think i do, you will be there for guidance when she (fails).

peace

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Put your blinders on and ignore her. Stay focused with your eyes on the prize and pay no attention to what she says. Some folks just can't stand seeing others succeed so they try to sabotage you, steal your thunder, take credit for your successes and just have a difficult time controlling that green monster they have inside. Stay strong!

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I can relate with you. I work in an environment where a lot of my co-workers have had WLS of some type. I like you talked to many of them prior to having surgery and they were very encouraging telling me how easy it was and they were having great success and no issues. Well they lied, everyone of them. They all had some issues but never disclosed them and looked for work around. As soon as I came across my first obstacle and went to them, the support and good advice was not there. I felt betrayed, I felt lost and knew I was on this journey by myself. I stopped seeking their advice and I actually distanced myself from them and their negativity. The have a year on me, (3 years banded) one had her band removed due to slippage( she always had her band too tight and was PB'ing) The other had her band removed and now has the sleeve. She continued to eat and blamed the band for not losing. The third is 4 years gastric bypass and never reached goal. The 4th, is at goal but struggles with stomach issues. So my role models turned on me and never got with the program and each of them struggles with their weight loss and they are also the ones who make fun of me for exercising, (they tell me I'm obsessed) and they also tell me I am too thin. My point is this, I did this for me, I thought I had support of my friends at work but soon found who my true friends were. You are doing very well with your journey, don't let the negativism of others bring you down. Stay strong, because we all know you can do this.

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I am the most considerate person you will meet especially in the workplace. Someone once told me i could tell her to go to hell and she would thank me for the trip. LOL However...i am also direct and find its better to be honest and manage peoples expectations so If it were me... The next time she came at me with something silly like you are drinking too much water I would politely say ."..I am following my doctors orders and I feel very comfortable with it. Thanks for your help but I think I will just find my own way". And every time she tried to offer advise I would say the exact same thing. She will tire of the game rather quickly I bet.

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