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Why The 'tude Dude?

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Kime-lou

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I have been on this site for 5 months and have noticed that post can sometimes get a little heated. I sometime get heated - when someone tells me I am doing wrong.

 

Well, if I am doing wrong them it's because my surgeon told me to. I have met with and emailed my nutrtionist with every question I have had to make sure I am on track. I go to my surgeon monthly for a fill and discussion about my progress.

 

From June 22, 2012 until Dec. 2, 2012 I have gone from 244 lbs to 199! I have gone from wearing a 20/22 to a 14/16. Obviously, I am not do that much wrong because I am losing lbs and inches. I eat healthy, good foods - do I ever eat something that would be considered unhealthy- yes, but not daily and not even weekly. I talked it over with my doctor and nutritionist and both said do not totally deprive myself, but limit. Guess what I want to lose so I limit!!!! When I am dying for a cupcake when I am pmsing I go get ONE cupcake and eat it- no more, some times it's only 2 bits and the hubs finishes it. It took my craving away and did not drive me to ruin.

 

I appreciate all the hard core banders who can preach ya da ya da is the end all be all and if you aren't living banded this way then you are wrong. I am sorry, but get off your high hourse and build a bridge, if you are not a bariatric specialist then do not tell me how I should live banded life. When I answer questions I answer from my perspective, from what my doctor has told me, I do not tell people they must take my advice I just put it out there rather than trying to choke them on it.

 

I have an excellent line of communication going with my team doctors (family doc and surgeon) and my nutritionist to make sure I am doing what I am suppose to and getting the right result in a healthy way. Last month I hit a plateau and didn't move for a month. My surgeon sat me down and told me to calm down, the month before I had lost 8lbs, he said likely my body was taking a break, that unless the plateau last 3 months to just breath and stick to the plan. Well in a few days I was headed down and hit 199.

 

Bottom line is we are all on a journey, each journey will present with different pot holes, curves and hills - it is up to us to seek guidance from our professional team to know how we need to navaigate those issues. On here people need support and need to know how your journey is going - the way you got around your curve may be different from who someone else gets around theres.

 

Tough love is needed- if a person admits to eating crap and gaining the yes it is there fault they are gaining. But until the facts are known please do not just down a person throat.

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Hey Kime-lou,

There is a serious bunch of people on this site that need an attitude adjustment. They know who they are and instead of learning to 'adjust' their behavior they continue to verbally bully others.

Tough love should be given to your children, not total strangers who are 'vulnerable' looking to 'reach' out to anyone who can give them some direction, reassurance, comfort, and guidence. If they ask 'directly' a 'factual' reinforcement should be suggested ....in an appropriate manner.

I come from a long line of licensed and certified therapists and social workers. Our family does not talk to one another or display such ignorant behavior as I have seen in this community, a community that was created for everyone to come together and 'help' one another out.

There are many ways to communicate to someone without making them feel as if they are 'bad'. Belittling and berating doesn't help, especailly those who may be sensative or shy.

I would NOT speak to my child that way or my grandchild. Today was a comment left for a young man and honestly I was appauld at one of our community 'seniors' response back. I wonder to myself if this 'older' woman speaks to her grandchildren like that, if she has any that is.

Anyway, I have learned sooo much on this site about my surgery before, during, and after. As I continue to learn, I appreciate the wonderful advice from some of our bandsters who have succeeded before me and reached goal. Hence, I will continue to ignore the bullies and let them continue to make fools of themselves.....

Thanks for posting this Kime-lou!

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I agree with you, eat what your professionals tell you. Every one of them is different. I had a fill Thursday and then my doctor had me back to liquids and then mushy, each for 3 days. Other banders have their regular diet the next day.

There is one woman, I forget her name, and she told me she had a plateau for many months but lost inches. That made me feel better.

You're doing great!

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I agree that no one, unless they have the proper credentials, should be giving medical advice to others on this forum, or any other venue. We all have been on the "learning curve" at some point on our journey to become a healthier individual, however there is a difference between general advice and questions which a qualified professional needs to answer.

I'm unclear as to which individuals you are referring to that "bash" others...I don't condone that. However if you have been on this forum for some time and read some of the posts it does make me wonder if the poster has had any pre-op education. Sometimes when people ask for advice, if you respond in an honest way they get offended. If you don't want an answer, then don't ask the question. I don't know of anyone I have encountered on this site that has malicious intent to be negative towards others.

I am a licensed therapist and a certified addictions professional. I understand that there are immense differences between instructions a surgeon would give their patients and I respect that. I encourage posters to follow the instructions they have been given by their medical team, and if they don't understand them, ask their team of medical professionals for clarification...that's why you are paying them.

I understand that the motivation for success has to come from within the individual. I also understand that even a professional within the scope of their practice cannot "save" everyone. Sometimes it is appropriate to tell it like it is and not coddle an individual, but always in an appropriate way.

Ultimately we owe it to ourselves to be informed, to be motivated, and feel that we can reach out for support, as well as be successful on our journey.

It's really not necessary to have an attitude if your interpretation of a post is different from the intent in which it was offered. And because interpretation is a "subjective" measurement, it helps to clarify the intent before you "cop the attitude"...

Best wishes for your continued success...

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hey, you are doing great!

the numbers don't lie, plus how you feel is what counts :)

good luck to you.

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