October was an awesome month for me in the weight loss department, I lost 8 lbs. Since the first week in November I have been on a dang gone plateau, and it sucks!!! My weight has bounced since that week between 202.6 and 201.4. My goal had been to hit 199 by Thanksgiving and obviously that didn't happen.

I did indulge one day and allowed myself 2000 calories on Thanksgiving day, which was still below the amount I burned that day. Lunch was followed by a nap and then a 4 mile family hike. I totally don't feel guilty about allowing myself that once, as long as it doesn't become habit. Some of you may berate me for that, but we all have to do what works for us.

Other than the family hike on Thanksgiving I haven't been exercising per say. I have been working! I get up get into the office by 6:45 work until 3, go home or run errons, then go home clean, do laundry, cook dinner - deal with the creatures (2 dogs, 2 cats). We have stuff going on every weekend that takes us out of town or brings family to our home. When I cook I make my recipes as healthy as possible. I feel like I am going crazy though staying busy all the time. Sunday after my in-laws left I passed out on the couch and took a 3 hour nap, I was exhausted.

Is my tiredness playing into the platuea? Is my lack of working out causing? I have no idea what the cause is, but I know it sucks.

Tomorrow I return to my doctor for a fill, likely with my head tucked between my knees. When I left last time, my doctor smiled and said I will see you in November and below 200 and I failed!

I know that my inches have gone down because my clothes are fitting differently, my 16's are fitting a little looser and my 14's are pefect. But, weight is what is the main measure of success.

I know I shouldn't just look at the weight, but it's hard not to. I am so very close to onederland. When I started this journey the thought of getting below 200 was a dream, now that I am so close it almost seem unattainable.

Am I meant to always be the fat girl? Is my body against me and refusing to drop the fat? I don't know, but I do know that this plateau is making it very hard to stay motivated.

Hopefully, the weight will start to move again soon and in the right direction.