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Truth Be Told.....

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Kime-lou

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We (me) lie to ourselves a lot.

 

I stayed in deniel over my weight for way to long. Thinking, oh, I'm not really that big. I just avoided pictures and mirrors. If I do see it's not there, right?

 

Due to my weight though I over compensated in a lot of areas. I was that annoying sibling who did everything my parents wanted. I made good grades, I worked, I was honest with my parents and I never got in trouble - honestly. This drove my brothers crazy. But, a lot of the reason for this was I wasn't popular. I didn't want to go to parties and stay out late because I had no self confidense.

 

As an adult I am pretty much a stickler for the rules at work and every where else. My weight has been out of control so I wanted to control everything else in my life.

 

Once I admitted, yes I am over weight, and yes I disgust myself with the rolls, I decided to do something about it. I was scared to begin with of not being successful. After all I got fat because I loved the taste of food- real food - not junk. I talked to my doctor and told him my fears, he ask if I really wanted to lose weight- I said yes. If anything were possible what would be the best way for you to loose- I thought well food not having calories would be nice- but realistically it was for me to eat less of what I was already eating. I already ate lots of veggies, healthy grains, fruit, and lean meats - I had already made that change years ago. I can't even tell you the last time I ate little debbie- never really liked them. He told me that he could help with that - the band would help me eat less.

 

Now, truth be told, 4.5 months post op, 43 lbs gone, this has not been as hard as I expected. Do I have hard days, heck yeah, but looking over the entire 4 months, once I got past the first 2, it's been pretty great. I don't miss soda, I don't miss the large quantity of food. I do not miss the size 22's. I don't miss anypart of my old life- nothing. Rather than filling like a stuffed cow after a meal I feel good, comfortable. It doesn't take much for it to kick in now that I have had enough since I got restriction. Once that hits I honestly believe if I ate another bite I would be sick- I haven't pushed that, but I feel that way. I hit that point at a cup of food. Left overs abound at my house now and I realize just how much I was eating.

 

We all say WLS is hard, it's not easy, it's not the easy way out and it's not. However, this is alot easier than continuing to live the way I was - fat and miserable! It's a lot easier to put down that fork now than it was before. It's a lot easier to say nope don't want that now that it was 5 months ago. 5 months ago I would go for any food at any time- now unless I'm hungry I don't want it. My daily craving is water - seriously- I drink 80-100 oz now, I am thirsty.

 

Anyway- this is just my rant- how do you feel about your journey- has it been easy or has it been hell?

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You're right, Lap Band is hard. It is a tool and you have to live by it's rules. My go to drink is tea. Iced, decaf (I brew my own) and now that it is getting cold, I have hot tea all night. Yes I pee all night long.

Enjoy your thin days ahead.

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Thank you so much for sharing. I will be banded next month. I enjoy exercising (don't like how quickly I get tired lately due to my weight, but truly have always enjoyed being active) and I don't crave junk or eat a lot of junk food. I just eat too many portions of food. I eat a lot, especially at dinner. And if I don't eat much in the morning, I feel shaky, headaches, like hey you need to eat or you wont make it through the day. My tests all came back ok. My dr and nutritionist tell me things similar to your journey. They also said that with the band making things smaller, it triggers hormones to the brain sooner. Hormones and messages that I'm not hearing now. They said that will make it so much easier for me. A lot of talk about not having that stomach hunger. They say I may not miss the diet sodas, that I actually may get into the good habit of drinking water and get used to drinking it more throughout the day. So thank you for sharing, because I was beginning to think I was being sold, and your real life story made me realize there is truth to what they said.

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hell is not being able to walk

hell is weighing nearly 350 pounds

hell is wearing 3x and they are getting too tight......

easy is believing in myself enough and WANT this to follow

the dr's instructions and eat good healthy foods and leave the

excuses at the curb........

excellent blog post GF

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Before surgery I feared starving hunger and missing out on things i loves and not being satisfied. However, other than the first two weeks I have not experienced any of those things. I guess mindset makes it easier or harder on a person and my mindset is this is easy. I am thankful that my experience has been good, but I was determined after being told my almost all my family (mom, brother, mother-in-law) how bad this would be and how I would be miserable and unable to eat- I wanted to prove them wrong, I wanted to prove that the band can work and I think I have.

My M-I-L will be here in two weeks for the holidays- she saw before surgery and she can't believe I've lost almost 50 lbs and I'm not having problems. Can't want to show her!!

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No WLS surgery is not the easy way but I know without the surgery I would not be at goal and able to maintain for 2 months. I know I would not have changed my cheating behavior with out the gentle reminder of my band. My journey has had it's ups and downs and I did go through a lot of emotional feelings with my relationship with food. I honestly did not realize before surgery how much I used food to cope with many issues in my life. The first few times I was faced with obstacles in my life after WLS I was angry and frustrated but learning to deal with what makes us eat and behavioral modification is a huge part of this journey and probably the hardest. Great post Kime. Success with Lap Band is possible, I am living proof, I ate what I was suppose to, I took my supplements and I exercised my butt off (literally). Today no one would ever know I was obese 2 years ago. Today when people say, you are so tiny, I say well I used to be morbidly obese two years ago and I had WLS. I get asked all the time, Do you regret it? Now think about that question, would you rather be a size 24 instead of a 4. I don't think so. People are so curious about what I can eat, I can eat what ever I want, but I choice to eat what is good for my body. I do always warn people thought that WLS is not the easy way out and it is not a guarantee, you get out of this what your willing to put into it.

Wishing you continued success.

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