I really dont have much to report except that I'm in this weird holding pattern...nervous...excited...feeling prepared. My drawers are filled with my current size 18 which is really too tight but I am not going shopping now! Instead I stocked my drawers with stuff from storage that is the next two sizes down...Stuff I haven't worn in a while but am excited to!

I also applied for 3 credit cards because, even though I have the cash saved for the surgery, I WANT THOSE MILES! No one credit card has a high enough limit and I've gotten some great sign on bonuses going on that will give me extra points for spending/charging in the first 3 months, Won't they be surprised when I charge up a $18K surgery! Its going to be a points extravaganza!

Another interesting detail. I have been dating, and after 12 years of marriage its pretty weird. Since I'm a working Mom I dont have a lot of free time, so internet dating it is. So I recently went out with a guy I really liked. The emails and texts were witty and out first date lived up to my expectations. He was adorable, creative, expressive...we stayed out til 1 AM just talking. Then NOTHING. I was so sad. I had really thought he liked me. I assumed it had to be because of my weight. I just assumed. Because, well, I guess that's what we do. I'm certainly not perfect, but my weight has always been my go to insecurity. It is my most obvious flaw.

Finally my friend Michelle said, "you idiot, text him, dont just assume". I kind of feel that a guy should make the move so this went against my usual protocol, after all I had sent the last text and it was his "turn" to respond.

Turns out he was so glad I texted. He had heard me say I had a really busy week and assumed that was me saying I dont have time. He couldn't believe I had been thinking that he didn't like me. He had assumed I dodn't like HIM. He proceeded to lavish me with reassurance about how much he liked me and how attracted to me he was. WOW. How nice was that? So here I was being so insecure about my weight that I almost didnt reach out.

I was so glad to have had that experience pre op. I know that once I/we lose weight there will be alot more attention and alot more confidence...but its nice to go into this surgery feeling that I'm ok as is...you know what I mean? I wouldn't want to face post banded life and wonder if all the people I date would have dated me "before".

I promise to post during my 2 week pre op, its going to be interesting getting through my daughters Bday and my own on a liquid diet. If you tend to just read these and not post I want to encourage you to share. I sign on every day and I need to see new posts. i dont know why. It really helps me. I'm newly divorced and its very strange to not have my ex to share all this everyday info with...so thanks everyone for being there for me.