Well I'll have you all know, I was in bed, found a comfy spot to lay in (hard to do these days with 5 incisions) and all but asleep when I keep feeling this nagging sensation for not writing my blog tonight. One of the main reasons I started this blog was to give me something to be accountable for. If I had to blog once a week (at least) and update whomever reads this on my progress then I would be less likely to cheat or fall of the band wagon...ha ha, you get my joke? So I drug my butt out of bed, fired up the computer and now here I am.

It is hard to believe that it was only a week ago today that I was having my very first surgery and that at this time last week I was in a drug induced stupor off in dream land. I've read many postings on the LBT website I am a member of for fellow lap banders, that many people had a "what have I done," moment. I can honestly say as hungry as I have been over the past week, I have never had that moment. I am very excited that I can honestly say I've had the surgery and I am on the path of weight loss. Yes I know it will be a lot of hard work with controlling my diet and exercising but I am really looking forward to it. And I think having the lap band will be the perfect tool to help me reach my goals.

I am just ready to be off restriction for diet and exercise so I can come up with my "real" world plan. I have been looking at the class schedules at 24 Hour Fitness coming up with a plan for which classes I am going to take when. I would ideally like to do at least 2 classes a week of weight training and cardio at least 5 times a week. Once I can start going to these classes and working out I know that it will become second nature and of course seeing the results will be extra motivation to keep going too.

Right now I am on the second week of my post op diet which consists of my protein shakes and thicker soups such as tomato soup. Last week was just pure broth which was harder than I thought it would be. I had read that a lot of people were not hungry the days following surgery. Well this fat girl wasn't one of those lucky ones. Staying awake long enough last week to sip my water and protein shakes was tough since the pain meds knocked me out pretty good, however when I was awake I was definitely hungry. And since I was only drinking liquids which go right through my band I had a very limited window of that "full" feeling. I do enjoy that only about a cup of liquid makes me "full."

I am also working out my plan for when I can return to normal food in about 2 more weeks. There is a place here in Houston and also Dallas called My Fit Foods, (www.myfitfoods.com) I have had their meals on several occasions. They are low fat, high protein meals that are aimed at people who are as I call "label aware," and looking for fast but yummy healthy food options. Only down side is that they are on the other side of town, but I can trek over there on Sunday's and prepare for the week. They have several options, low carb, gluten free, etc. I plan on getting their small portion, which is 3 oz of protein for my lunches. I am one of those people that if I have to prepare a lot in advance I will eventually stop doing it. Or I will wait until I am ravenously hungry and be miserable. They are pretty affordable ranging from $6-$8 a meal which is cheaper than eating out somewhere and I believe the portions are small enough that I wont be wasting a lot of food. They have a lot of chicken, fish, and turkey options which will be nice. I still plan on having a protein shake for breakfast and just protein and veggies for dinner.

I would update you on my scale progress, but I have refused to get on the damn thing since Saturday. I was very frustrated that after having weight loss surgery (WLS) that from the time I went in the operating room until I came out I managed to find 6 lbs. I know that this is from the fluids and bloating my body has gone through from surgery. But it was a little frustrating. My nurse practitioner told me this was normal and that I would see results soon. She also pointed out that I was losing visceral fat and that my clothes probably fit better. At this point I wasn't wearing much but yoga pants and t-shirts so I wouldn't know. Saturday I got dressed and my tightest pair of jean shorts fit considerably better, even were a little loose. And I was able to comfortably wear a shirt I hadn't worn in 2 years. It wasn't too tight anywhere and managed to cover what I wanted it to. So small victories. I had said I would weigh on Tuesdays but I think I am going to push that to Wednesday or Thursdays. I'll let you all know. My surgeon's office also has a support group once a month, I am not really sure what to expect from it, but I believe I will go. Any tips and advice from people going through this with me might be helpful. That will be this Wednesday. I would be lying to say that I am not scared **** less that I will not lose any weight. Although I have bitched and complained a fair amount, I have managed to stick to my diet so I know that I will lose the weight. I also think I have an outline for success with my food and exercise plans. I just have to be patient (gasp!) and let my body work its magic. I cannot fail! My mini goal is to see -20 lbs by my post-op appointment on 10/9.

I managed to get to work today and I will say it was odd to be back there, I kinda enjoyed being off for a week. I was so worried that the world would end without me for a week but they all survived. I had my shake for breakfast and managed to drink some water. About 10:00 a.m. I started feeling really tired and out of it and my incisions were starting to really bother me. I didn't take my pain meds because I didn't want to fall asleep at my desk, so I was only taking Advil. I made it until about 12:30 before I threw in the towel and packed it in and went home. When I got home I did notice I was really pale and my cheeks were flushed. So tomorrow I will be taking a half dose of pain meds about 9:00 to see if that doesn't help me make it the entire day.

So anyways, this is a long ramble and I do need to get to sleep. Big party at work tomorrow with lots of vendors and customers so I have to be on my game. Maybe the pain meds will help drown my anxiety about not being successful with a weight loss.

Until tomorrow,

Amanda