What a month this has been! This month I made the decision to stop hiding my head in the sand and to take control of my health. It was not easy, but I no longer feel disappointed in myself. That decision motivated me to start doing small changes from now, so that when surgery comes along I will not feel overwhelmed. I'm determine to succed, so I came up with a plan for the next five months, that will hopefully get me on the right track. 20% of this is physical, the rest is all mental, well for me it is.

I need to change the way I think, I know the 2 year old temper tantrum my mind can throw and the patience and reasoning the mature side needs to do, it's a constant battle not just about food but for exercise also. It's for this reason I started changing little things. I've heard that a takes 3 weeks to make a habit, I'm giving myself six weeks and not throwing a pity party when I slip, just get back on the wagon.

So far, I've cut out sodas, drink 32-64oz of water per day and working on getting rid of my fast food habit. It's a bit more difficult but I'm getting better at it. This started as a weight loss, but as time goes by I see that the weight loss will only be part of it, I'm going for a full "make over". The funny thing is that I don't know what my "make over" entails, I believe I will figure it out in time.

I had to put a plan, on paper, not only for my obsessive personality to have something visual, so that I can follow and see where I'm at, but also to have solutions to the common pitfalls and hills every time I try to lose weight.So instead of pretending it will not happen again, I'm preparing myself mentally for them. It's why I'm currently looking for a therapist who specialize in obesity. In order to have long term success, I will take whatever help is out there, no more head in the sand.