After quite a while of not blogging successes or frustrations or experiences, much has happened. I've been a vacationer, I've been stressed at work, I've had two girls up and go off to college, I've seen the scale drop, stop and stop and stop. I've had a few fills, I've weighed every single day, become frustrated, backed off to once a week and been happily surprised! I've been stuck, hungry, stuck, slimed, hiked, exercised, sweated buckets, laughed a ton, and felt SO much better in my body. As of yesterday, I have lost 28 pounds that I'll never ever see again. I've lost and gained so much in my life and it has become such a vicious cycle, I'm so elated to know I have a tool that WORKS to keep it off forever. It's NOT EASY but it's so nice not to be hungry all the time. I'm finding it's NOT FAST, but fast weight loss and subsequent gain plus some has gotten me where I am today. It IS POSSIBLE to lose weight, feel good and just get on with life. It doesn't consume me like it has in the past because I'm not starving and allocating every possible little morsel of food I can have in any given day. I can go with how my body feels and trust that I have enough, I am fine, and that it is working like it should. What a relief.

I'm finding that comparing my weight loss to others is nothing more than setting myself up for panic, disappointment, frustration and fear! I can't. Not everyone is the same. Not everyone started at the same place, at the same age, at the same BMI with the same metabolism. I'm learning to just relax and trust that I am doing this, that my band is working. I am down one size in pants, with the next smallest size sitting happily and patiently in the wings of my closet. I have a great support system - my friend T who is my band sister, my husband and my parents are all very supportive.

My goal is to "feel good." When I focus on that, I eat right, I exercise, I laugh, enjoy life, relax and let things happen week by week. No more mental torture up on the scale every single morning. I'm thinking after some time, maybe even a monthly weigh in will be my best route. I hate the scale, it does a number on my mind sometimes. Why subject myself to the torture?! No more.

Back to school this next week, working on my MBA (also slowly and steadily), one class at a time. Time to practice studying, writing papers and reading WITHOUT food to make it better. I have other options I'll be trying - walk around the block, music break, phone conversation with my support system. I'm sure I'll come up with more. The week after that I'm teaching class out of town for a week - but not at all worried about being on the road with my band. It's really pretty easy I've found. Plus, I'll have dedicated time to hit the hotel gym each day, without any of the distractions of home, and will get a chance to see my best friend in the whole world. Good times for us!

It's funny how reality has set in, my total elation with being banded has turned into a deep respect for myself and for what the band is doing to help me. My excitement at being a thin person is there, but is mellowed with the reality of day-to-day progress and small changes to get me there. My certainty that I will do this has never faltered, not once.

I hope everyone reading this is having a growing experience with their band, learning about the amazing person you are, and the amazing life that's out there to live without food dominating every moment. It's pretty dang enlightening and amazing.

Wishing you all my best -

D <3