Ignorance might be bliss, but, sometimes it can make you stupid. I knew I had a serious weight problem in 2008, when I saw some pics of myself from a family cruise. I deleted every picture of me on my camera. At that time I was 240 lbs and I couldn't believe how heavy I was, but felt that I could take it off .... Fast forward 4 years later, my weight is 270 lbs and climbing. When my MD of 18 years mentioned in my last physical that maybe it's time to look into WLS, I actually was offended. I can do this, I lost 55 lbs when I was 19 and kept it off for 3 years, I can do this again! Two months later after another failed WW attempt. I started taking a good look at myself. Denial was going to kill me.

I started looking into different types of WLS. I stumbled on an ad for Lap Band and my research had a focus. I did not inform my friends, family, my partner. I did not want any outside opinions, since this is my body, therefore my choice. Even though I know the opinions expressed might come out of fear, concern, etc. At the end of the day until you can walk in my shoes, you don't know how I feel. I eventually broaden my research to other types of WLS, but, I felt they weren't for me. I realize that one of my major problem is portion control, so I like the idea that with the Lap Band, it gives you that feeling of being satiated with smaller amounts.

When I've made a decision, I'm usually aggressive until I've acquired my goal. So, as of today, I've found my clinic SWLC in Toronto. I'm doing a combination of financing and self-pay and at the end of this month I shall have my surgery date booked. I've informed my partner, who is extremely supportive and he understand that I wish to keep this between us for now. I'm excited, nervous, worried, happy, etc. why ? I've tried every weight loss fad out there and failed, what if I fail this one? Or worse, what if something goes wrong? Since, I'm keeping this on a "down low ", I need to find an outlet where I can express my fears and concerns without having to re-assure or defend my decision ( I definitely do not want to stress my partner of 5 years). So I'm grateful to have stumble onto this gem while during my research. A definite breathe of fresh air;).