I had my surgical consultation yesterday and it went swimmingly. Dr. Rantis was a lot cooler then I expected. Reading his reviews online led me to believe that a) he is a terrific surgeon and he lacks bedside manner. I thought his bedside manner was fine, and he seemed to think I was quite hilarious so that gives him a check mark in my book

We discussed my health history and asked me if I had any issues. I said, "No, I'm pretty healthy. Just fat." he said, "I like you, you're funny." Maybe I opened him up a little more because I tend to have a blunt, no holds barred type of attitude. Who knows.

After having my body composition analysis done, I studied the little print out in disgust. 310 pounds even. That is not the woman I see when I look in the mirror. I don't feel like a 310 pounds person. I don't like myself right now, and I can't wait to change that. I can't wait to see the number on the scale go down and down and down. I don't know how I've allowed myself to get to this point. I'm embarassed and disgusted and just plain sad. The doc asked me what my goal weight was and I told him at this point, my goal is to break the 200 pound barrier. I remember when I weighed about 225, thinking the same thing, I just want to get below 200. How silly was I! What I would give to only have to work off 25 pounds. Now I need to focus on working off over 100. Sick.

Now, I wait. I have to get a pyschological evaluation and personality test done, and I need to attend a pre-surgery nutrition class for bariatric patients. I have scheduled both already, pysch eval on 8/16 and nutrition class on 8/23. I guess I will find out after that what my next steps are. I plan on taking some before photos this week to track my progress. Really not looking forward to that but I will do it for the sake of the cause.