So who knew that this could be more stressful than having a baby? Yep I said it! I've got two and I don't remember being this stressed out... perhaps I don't remember properly... after all there is a lot of that going on lately but OMG I'm really stressed today. This is insane... I'm already ADD and now I really can't focus... Need to work but can't... this is just painful...

I'm meeting with Dr. Brebbia today at 1 for my first appointment. I guess this is my first weigh in... I've been working (or shall I say eating) my tail off to prep for this appointment and according to my scale this morning all that work has paid off (see my first post for an explanation of this if you're curious)... now if I can just stay out of the bathroom. Apparently, my body's response to stress is to go, go, go... and I really need to keep everything in right now because as it stands, I'm just barely going to make weight.

I guess I'm just posting here to get it out somewhere... I really need my husband to call me (he works outside so I can do is text and wait for him to call back)... I need to calm down... I need to scream... I feel like so much is riding on how this meeting goes and what the insurance company says because I need to get healthy... I'm only 30 and I'm sick of being sick and I'm afraid that without some kind of help I'm not going to see 40 and my girls are just too young for that possibility ,