So I have researched my booty off. Called people, talked to friends, jumped up and down, wished on stars. After my saga last week with the liar, liar, pants on fire clinic and my lack of financial aid to finish school I have come to the conclusion that as much as I want lap band, I'm just not going to be able to do it.

It looks like it's gastric bypass or nothing. Which sucks humungously but I have extenuating circumstances so I have to put all of these things in perspective.

1) I can't loose weight long term and keep it off by myself

2) I don't have the money to self pay right now and my insurance won't cover the band

3) I have to get a better paying job with more hours by November and I have to loose enough weight so that someone will actually hire me

4) I am going to have to pay for school out of pocket and I need the weight loss to get a job to pay for school

5) I have had 3 doctors that know me very well tell me I need the weight off now and there is a good chance that If I don't get it off soon that I am right on the cusp of type II diabetes.

All of these things have led me to this decision, which my family and fiance are not super thrilled about, but I wonder what else should I do, and even though I know they love me, most of the people in my family and my fiance have never been this big. I'm 5'2 and 318. They have no clue what its like to carry this around. My fiance wants to have a baby in the next few years and I can say right now there is no way.

I was on the RNY board and I can say that it doesn't seem as if they are as supportive as LBT. They don't seem as friendly, and the board isn't as informative as LBT. I am sad because I really wanted to be a part of this wonderful group of lovely people and say that I too have a lap band. I wanted to be a proud bander and talk about pre-op diet and post-op diet and fill and unfills and green zone. Now I won't even be able to have chocolate and I will probably kill someone one day when I am stressed out.....yes I know I'm being melodramatic but I'm disappointed darn it... I had ideas of where my life was going and the monkey wrench has caused me to have to start over....blah.