Dear Food, You Annoy Me
I realize that just because I had surgery that my struggles with food would not come to an end. I am so tired of my issues with food. Its supposed to be fuel for the body!...so why do I think about food all the time!? I am not sure how to get thru this. I started seeing a therapist but nothing seems to help. Willpower needs to kick in high gear and even then I give in and say oh I'll start tomorrow. So tell me why do I do that when I want this so much I could scream? do I not want it that bad? These are questions that I constantly play in my head. I can't answer them and if I do I get pumped up for a few mins and then its gone. I am frustrated because I am at a loss. I am not giving up tho. I am very determined to do this. I just have to struggle with all that on top of it that it weighs down. Lately I am exhausted and use that as an excuse to not work out but when I do work out I fell great...I don't get it. Yesterday I had to go in to the doc's to have fluid removed because I got super sick on Monday causing me to vomit in turn swell so in order for me to even get water down they had to remove fluid. I go back in a few weeks to have it put back but still I sit here hungry...even tho I am on a liquid diet due to the issue for today and back to normal tomorrow I just know that once "let" lose I'll be like do I really want that Sure why not and gobble gobble.
I don't mean to sound like poor me poor me...I realize its all me...I just don't get how I want it so much to just fail...
well thats my vent for the day...hope everyone else is doing awesome :wub:
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