So the PA I saw on Tuesday wants me to journal what I eat and exercise. Fine. But I suck at doing that stuff in a timely manner. Luckily, I'm pretty boring and eat mostly the same stuff. On work days, a protein shake for breakfast because I am lazy and don't give myself enough time to cook. Lunch, either a bastardized peanut butter sandwich on those deli flat things (seriously - those things are weird. I don't know if I like them or not...but they're only 100 calories and it beats getting peanut butter on my hands) or a protein bar. Dinner, chicken or fish and some kind of vegetable. Varies on what's in the house. I'm supposed to stay under 1200 calories a day. I "journaled" all of the things consumed for the past few days and I'm only getting like 800 calories a day, if that. But I'm stopping eating when I'm full and basically only eating protein. On weekends, I seem to eat more (in that I'm having an actual breakfast), but even then, the breakfast is still only like 1/4 cup of egg whites and 1/4 cup shredded cheese. The PA showed me the sample plate they have that shows you how much of the plate should be protein, how much should be vegetables and how much should be grains/starches (I guess - I never actually make it that far into a meal and I couldn't find a link to the plate online). I'm eating about half of that at any given time.

I mean, I knew I'd be eating less after the surgery but I didn't realize how much less until I logged it.

On a sorta kinda not really related note, I have been thinking about where my weight problem started, how it started, etc...and I can't come up with a single point. I was a small child until like the end of second grade. My mom got pregnant and we all got fat. I don't know if that time coincided with the "you aren't leaving this table until you finish everything on your plate" time, but it could have. And honestly, if I had been given child sized portions and not enough food to feed a damn viking, maybe I could have stopped eating when I was full instead of having to be a member of the clean plate club. In their defense, my family is Italian. They get O F F E N D E D when you don't eat their cooking. But still. Maybe it was when my mom tried to use exercise as a punishment that I started equating exercise with suckage. Maybe not teaching my sister and I about moderation and the "ban" on "junk food" led us to hoard the aforementioned "junk food" and hoover it up when we had it. The mentality my sister and I had with "junk food" was of the "planes goin' down, smoke 'em if you got 'em" type. Because getting caught with junk food was almost as bad as leaving the table without having consumed enough food to feed a starving nation.

Maybe I just need to get past all of that, but I can't really ever remember a time where I had any sort of healthy attitude towards food. I can't fully blame my upbringing. I've been living on my own for almost 10 years now. It's weird that it took me THAT long to readjust my thinking and such, Like I said, I suck at doing things in a timely manner...