Hello World of blogging...

There's a 1st time for everything right? Even a woman with a demanding job, 2 girls ages 17 and 1 yr., a step-daughter (which also means an ex-wife) and a high maintenance husband can find time to sit down in front of a computer and put her thoughts in order. It seems like a simple way to motivate myself to be real honest. Journaling is one of the best methods for stress release, so I figure it couldn't hurt in this situation either. The question is do I care if only I benefit from my rambling or if anyone else is even interested in what I have to say. I guess we'll see...

I have been heavy most of my adult life. The reason is genetics! Yeah right! Yes, all of the women on my mother's side of the family are heavy. A slow metabolism does run in the family, however, I have learned over the years, we all control our own destiny. People do what is important to them...bottom line. In May of 2008 I lost my first husband. 1 event, 1 moment in time managed to alter my life forever. I thought my life was also ending. At the time I had a 12 year old daughter to continue to care for. I was no longer living for me, my complete focus...my every breath...every bit of my energy was put toward my daughter. In the process, I ballooned. I ate everything. Those people who get stressed and lose weight...I hate them. j/k (but am jealous) I stress and I gain weight just looking at food. It really isn't fair. As I got bigger and my daughter got stronger, I began to do a lot of self examination. If I don't take care of myself...my daughter may not have a Mommy either. That is scary! I decided to take the plunge and have lap-band. I'll admit...it seemed like the easy way. I know my limitations. I have NO will-power! My career involves me driving, driving and driving some more. So I sit and I get bored so I snack and drink soda to have the sugar and caffeine. I wanted help and the lap band gave it to me. It MADE me have smaller portions. It MADE me focus on proteins and vitamins.

I never regret having this done. I would do it again in a heartbeat...oh wait, I don't have to. I just have to get a fill.

More of my story at a later time...now its time for bed. More self motivation tomorrow