Hmmm Friends Or Not?
So I have been having a few issues with my best friend lately. We don't see each other much as she lives about 3 hrs north of me. It was hard enough getting together before I moved down south with my fiancee. Single mom, tight budget, crappy vehicle. So I would wait until she had to come to my town to have lunch etc. Then I started finding out she would come to town and no one would tell me until she was gone. Then another friend of ours just started going up to her house all the time and hanging out, going to parties, the bestie would have theme parties at her house and everyone was "oh we thought you wouldn't come, drive, have a babysitter" ok........sure it's nice to be invited though. Fast forward a few months and now I'm engaged. She tells me that my track record with men sucks (which is true) and she thought I was moving to fast with someone I barely knew.....wait a minute, I'm sorry I've actually known my fiancee since high school..yeah we were good friends in high school, lived close to each other in the middle of nowhere, and I've been friends with his mom about as long as I've been friends with him...hmmmmm.
I asked her to be my matron of honor in February, she didn't ask me anything about the wedding, not theme, decorations, location..nothing until May. She said that she is having personal family problems with her oldest son and she just doesn't have the time or energy to do anything else or think of anything else. Ok that's fine so I asked her if she wanted to opt out of the wedding and take care of what she needs to do, whatever she needs, or however I can help. So she got mad at me. Well hell....
So since then she has apologized for acting like that and hurting my feelings. That's fine. But she has still only talked to me once about the wedding in-depth and I'm getting married in October. In addition she is supposed to be my planner, and her husband is marrying us.
So to top it off I finally told her that I'm getting lap band and ....she got mad. Because she doesn't have insurance, so she can't get one. Ok I'm not saying she doesn't need a band or that it wouldn't help her. But she's about 5'4 and 220...I'm 5'2 and 325....but then I also gave her info on self pay and all the deals that they have for surgery in Mexico. She got madder at me about it...I give up.
My Dad told me that like any other situation in life such as drinking, doing drugs, smoking...stuff like that, you surround yourself with people who are like you. And when you decide to change that situation people resent it immensely. I already moved, got into a really healthy relationship that is leading to commitment, and now I want to loose weight and be healthy. He believes that I may have to reevaluate some of these relationships, especially if they aren't supportive. Since he went through AA and has been sober for 12 years, I kind of think he may be right.
In the meantime I am just letting it be and doing my thing so that I can put myself first for a change. I don't do much of that.
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