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Losing Or Is It Winning

mauraclegg

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Okay, I am going to say it. The weight loss was relatively easy for me. I hate to say it because I've read about and know personally people that have struggles after their band. I lost 85 lbs within the first year with 3 fills.

 

Now that you hate me for saying it was easy let me explain WHY I think it was easier for me. WHen I was allowed mushy food I tried out all the yummy carbs that I was missing (rice, pastina, mashed taters). I couldn't tolerate the rice so I eliminated it from my life (not my family's but mine). I never minded making the husband and kids something and having something different myself.

 

I think that my losing was easy because I changed my mind set. I gave myself about a cup of food and convinced myself I was full. It has worked for me.

 

That being said, I still need to have a little sweet when I am done eating (a Dove Promise or 2) and I think the fact that through all my fills I have been able to eat popcorn has been my saving grace. I love popcorn!! It's a perfect snack for me.

 

I still have some food struggles - I still want to eat french fries and they really don't work with my band (maybe 2 or 3), but then I get a bit stuck.

 

If I eat too fast, or I talk when I am eating I tend to stick and vomit.

 

But I stand by my saying that my weight loss was easy. I barely exercised - bad I know - but it's the truth.

 

I love what my band has allowed me to do for me, but I think the mental part of seeing yourself different has been the hardest part for me - I still see a fat chick in the mirror (I'm between a size 8 and 10). I don't want to be a size 2, but when I look in the magazines at people who are my height and weigh 115/120 lbs I am convinced I am still as big as a house.

 

I think part of my blog is so I can get more of these negative feelings out there into the universe and maybe, just maybe I can see me the way others see me



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Once upon a time loosing was easy for me, I had just never really made an effort and the idea of never eating some things again was so daunting that I gave up. Now after 2 kids, quitting smoking, severe postpartum depression and a thyroid that gave up the ghost, I think I'm ok with not eating a Big Mac ever again as long as my butt is smaller! I just can't stand the way I feel anymore and I would like to even loose 50 lbs. I am determined to do what I need to do, the exercise part well I will have to work up to that but I think I'll get there eventually.

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I guess I should qualify what I said. Yes, once getting the band I found the weight loss to be easy, but I had to make sacrifices - and I continue to make them. I can't eat cakes, there are some veggies that I am nervous to eat. I can only eat a tiny bit of pasta - and really NO BREAD. Trust me when I tell you that I LOVE bread. I have a long standing love affair with bread and compared to other things I really miss white squishy bread.

I am 43, have 3 kids and I stay home. By my youngests nap time I am too wiped out to exercise (he has ADHD, my 5 yr old is PDD/NOS and my 11 yr old has RAD) They were all adopted from foster care so the are exhausting most days.

I still would like to lose 15 lbs to get to my original goal of 140, but pre-surgery my doc said 160 would be good for my height/build. I know I can do it, but it would be a lot of work, I have maintained my approx 100 lbs loss (with a 4 lb leeway) for 10 months. I wasn't trying to brag, just saying compared to my previous attempts at weight loss it was easy

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