First PB and Potato Chips...
Well...I had my first PB and it was just as awful as everyone has described it to be... :think However, I am glad that I had that knowledge so I was prepared for what it would be like...
It all happened after I came home from work yesterday and I was just starving. My plan was to have a snack of hummus and pita chips, and I am always so careful, but I think that my hunger got the best of me and I must have been eating too fast, and too big of bites.
I felt the food get stuck in my lower esophogus, it felt like my esophogus was "filled" and I knew that the food was going to come up, but it was stuck and that is what was so terrible. My eyes starting tearing, I felt like I could hardly breath (even though I really could out of my nose) and I panicked. I was all alone and I calmed myself down. In just a few minutes the food came up and all was well. So...chew chew chew, slowly slowly slowly....
Along with feeling bad for not being careful enough and having my first PB, I am having an issue with potato chips....
Um...yeah...my boyfriend loves potato chips, Dorritos, Sour Cream and Onion, Cheese and Sour Cream, etc, etc etc....well, and I really like them too and for sooo long they have been in the house and I have not touched them...They have been "calling" me from the kitchen cabinet and I ate and ate and ate....they went down so well and tasted sooo good and I felt sooooo terrible... :cry
I cannot even bring myself to tell my boyfriend about it, not that I need to, but I usually confide in him and I am too ashamed too. I suppose that I can ask Joe to take them out of the house and he would with no problem...but why should that be necessary??? I should just be able to not give in.
Well, this has happenend two days in a row now and after it happens I feel so full on the few handfuls of chips that I have that I cannot fit anything else. Therefore, I dont eat the nutritional food that I had planned on eating....it is so embarassing...:paranoid
I had this surgery, have gone through so much...and now I am doing this...I really cant believe it...:angry
I am so disapointed in myself:(
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