Reaching For The Stars
If you can believe in yourself. you can make your dreams come through. I started this journey 19 months ago. Like many of you I had been overweight for the majority of my adult life and had tried and never been totally successful with any exercise program or diet. That is why I made my decision to have WLS over the summer of 2010. I was so tired of being overweight, tired of my knees hurting, tired of being short of breath when i walked from my car to the office. Tired of being the girl with the pretty face, the death sentence comment for yes she is really fat but she has a pretty face. LapBand comes with its own set of challenges, we all went into this believing we knew what we were getting into but I am not sure anyone can truly prepare you for all you are going to experience. The early part of this journey was lined with challenges and so much of the unknown. For all of you pre and newly banded you need to know I lived on this web site in the early days, I logged on daily and would sometimes spend hours reading the forums and blogs. I wanted to learn as much as I could from the very people who I was trying to emulate. I learned quickly that there were just as many people failing as there were people succeeding and honestly that scared the hell out of me. I gleamed what info I could from the positive comments and tried to figure out how I was not going to become frustrated. The one most important thing I learned was that I had to be accountable to myself, no one was going ot hold my hand and make sure I ate what and how I was suppose to. This was all on me, my success or failure that is. Lapband does work, it can be the tool that you takes you where you want to go but remember it truly is a tool, it does not make food choses for you. It will not stop bad behavior, actually it will allow you to eat junk. Think about it sugar and starches break down in your mouth not in your gut so chips and cookies and candies will always go down when you have to work to eat protein and vegetables. I am an optimist, I went into this with my eyes wide open. I knew my life would never be the same, I knew I would be changing the life of not only me but also my family. I wanted to embrace my new life, when I chose my log on to this site, "LovetheNewMe". I was far from loving or even liking how I was but I knew that was where I wanted to go. Today, I do LovetheNewMe, I have no regrets with my Lapband. People often ask me, Do you regret having the surgery, instead of doing yourself. I laugh, they have no idea. The band helped me lose the weight but it was only a guide, the food I chose to eat, the exercise I chose to do and the new life I embraced was all about me not the band. You see I see my band as my conscious, it lets me know if I chose unwisely but it never stops me. I stop me, because I followed the rules my MD gave me and on the lapband web site. I have been successful not because of the band but because of me and my determination to be successful. Today was a great milestone for me. I went to my exercise session with my trainer today. Today was weigh and measure day. I weighed in at 145 lbs with a BMI of 27.4 and 26% body fat. I lost a total of 5 inches. My measurements are now 36-29-38, my thighs are now 21 inches and my arms are 11.5 inches. My trainer, was ecstatic, I thought he was going to cry, I think he was as happy if not happier than I was. When I left the gym tonight he told me I was his walking billboard that proved that hard work and determination did pay off. I said to him well you did it and he said no Diane you did it, all I did was show you what to do, you did all the work. I told him tonight, I would be happy staying at this weight but I did still have some goals, I want my waist to be 25-26 inches, I want my arms down to 10 inches. He thinks I will reach my ideal body weight of 132 in a few more months, will see.
On another note, the dear hubby tells me tonight, I think your thin enough! Now remember this is the same wonderful fellow who said my thighs were less than optimal. I just looked at him very perplexed. So my new thought process is that I have thighs like a Chinese Shar Pia, because that was the breed of my dear departed Alexander whom I lost 2 years ago. I always said my Ali had only a face a mother could love so I am choosing to embrace my shrinkles and the rest of the world can just. "GET OVER IT."
If you take nothing from my ramblings please take this, believe in your self, love your self, set goals and never feel like you fail. Set backs and plateaus are normal, if you stumble, forgive yourself and refocus. This is YOUR life, this is YOUR chance to learn to love your self and embrace a new life. If i can do this you can do this. I dreamed of being here and now I am. Is my journey over NO, this is a life long journey and a commitment. This is my life, my new life!
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