Today, I'm buckling down, because I've completely stopped losing. In fact, over the past month, I've gained 0.6 lbs. Now, part of me is celebrating and praising my band that I've ONLY gained about half a pound when I have been doing nothing right and totally slacking off this process of being banded, but the other half of me is kicking itself repeatedly in the head and screaming that I'm a #&*%#$%! idiot for paying thousands of dollars for surgery if I'm not going to follow the program that goes along with it.

Remember Logical Me and Emotional Me? Yeah, they're at it again.

It's been a rough few weeks, and instead of buckling down and meeting the challenge, I let myself fall back into old habits. My excuses ranged from a deadline for work, through a long-planned (since well before banding) out of town girl's weekend that included much wine and some fabulous food, through the stress of helping my BFF with her wedding (happening in 11 days) prep. The truth is that life is always going to throw stuff like this into my path, and while I may not have dealt with it well this time, that's no reason to give up or to expect to deal with it poorly next time. Every minute is a chance to start over, or to at least get back on track, so that's what I'm going to do.

Of course, I could have been a lot worse, and remembering that is helping me pick myself back up. I'm definitely still eating less than I would have pre-band, but I've allowed myself to slack off on paying attention to my physical hunger as opposed to my head hunger, so that's today's number one priority. Along with getting back to drinking my water. All the fundamentals, as it were. I've already made it through breakfast and lunch successfully, counting my chews, spacing out my bites, and taking at least 20 minutes to eat. I also have a plan in place for dinner, so I'm cautiously optimistic.

I think the important thing to remember is that I am in control of this process. When I follow the rules, I will lose weight; when I don't, I won't. It's really that simple. The power is in my hands. Time to use it for good instead of evil.