The past week has been completely overhwelming.

The dietician and WLS coordinator both told me it was okay to vary off my eating plan because my BMI was going to drop below what insurance would pay for. I tried just adding in extra fruits and veggies...then thought, well, it won't hurt to have Del Taco since I can't be losing weight now anyways...then okay maybe I'll have pizza for dinner...and now I'm frustrated all over again. I have my appointment set to see the surgeon (finally!) for April 25th, so the week before they said it would be safe for me to re-focus and get back to the strict plan. Mentally, I want to be healthy, but know that after meeting with the surgeon, I will be scheduling surgery ASAP and will hopefully go into the Pre-Surgery Diet phase...so I've got about six days to eat the greasy, fatty, bad-for-you food that my brain is telling me I really, really want!

I'm feeling so super stressed right now. On top of dealing with my weight struggles and feeling the pressure of wanting to be committed to the program, but needing to be approved through insurance AND not losing my focus, I also learned that there's a deadline for me to have surgery because my work is going into a "no vacation" phase because we're getting a new charting system. AND I'm dealing with a very stressful family situation.

I just need a break. I want to get this surgery rolling so I can stay focused, get my head back in the game, and start losing those pounds!