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Up Downs Slips And Stops

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newlife4nekaylyn

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Well its a new day and that means new obstetrical, I have found since me and lap band became friends that i have new things to deal with everyday. What are you talking about you might ask well here we go lol. Before banding i would wake up in the mornings slowly get out of bed and want to cry as soon as my feet hit the floor. my feet hurt and my back was in a big amount of pain. Then i would go to the bathroom, Then strait to the kitchen for a soda and the remote. not to menchen i would wake up at eleven if i didnt have to take kids to school. any ways after my soda i would head to the fridge for my breakfast which was usually leftovers from the night before and since i would wake up at like 11 or 12 i didnt see the point in trying breakfast. so i would eat ten times to much and then it was lay around and watch tv, play on the computer, or maybe wash a load or two of clothes. I didnt have energy to do anything any more. And my clothes where always jeans when cold and an XXXL t-shirt and if it was hot or warm basketball shorts and an XXXL t-shirt. I mean dont get me wrong i had very beautiful clothes but i was to big to wear them.

So that was my before life all that right there i didnt like to go or do anything! I was a total couch potato! Now this is pretty much what i face every morning i will wake up uncurl myself (i usually wake up with my knees in my chest) then i will get up out of bed stretch no pain. journey to my bathroom do my stuff, go to the kitchen start my coffee, feed my dogs play with them a while, get my coffee and get on the computer and usually this is all before i wake up the kids to go to school or like a day like today where it is spring break all before nine o'clock. any ways i drink my coffee and get on the computer and check my email, and i run a business from home called Pomeranian's place. after all my computer stuff is done and all the coffee is gone i start off with maybe a protein shake because its so hard to eat in the mornings or i just mix protein and fiber with the coffee that i am drinking. Then i start off my day with cleaning (sometimes lol) and running earns like food shopping and just everyday life stuff. I usually always try to eat by 12 in less i am working at my other job which i got in October, then i will eat at one because i dont get off until 12:30 most days. After my lunch time meal is done i will do some more cleaning or play with the dogs, then maybe go and get the kids from school or when they dont have school i will work in the garden i am planting or mow the yard i find that i love to be outside now. And i am just waiting and counting down days until summer when i can go swimming anytime that i want. And clothes well for one i had to by all new clothes and i find myself bying things that i really love and no t-shirts my sizes now are pants size 11-10 and shirts xl to large. but i can buy girls shorts and look good in them again nothing skanky im to old for that lol. well i dont think i am to old i am 25 but with three kids i don't want to embarrass them. My point is is that after lap band i feel better i feel the need to get out and go. instead of trying to find the closest parking spot at a mall or store i find one that is farther away i mean yeah i dont want to loose the car one and two sometimes i just want to get home after a long day at the mall.

Thats another things shopping before i hated malls and i hated food shopping. I hated malls because most stores just dont make things for big women. And food shopping because that is when people are the meanest. When they see one big girl with a basket full of food they tend to sometimes say "and she wonders why she is so fat" any one else ever hear that? It will make you cry and just leave but what they dont think about is i have four other people at home besides me. Let me clear something up i knew i was fat and i knew i had a problem but until someone is in the same place that you are they will never understand what your going through.

As for malls now i love it no one looks at me crazy when i pick up a little shirt and no one says anything about do u really thing that you can wear that? No its really not like that for me. Here is a good story it was in january when i had just hit the 100's i needed new clothes and so i went shopping at a mall. What i didnt realize was that i had no clue what i was supposed to wear. I knew the size 14s i had on where way to big for me now and the XXL shirt i had on was also way to big. I went in to a store called the buckle. I was greated by a girl and a guy, they asked me what are you looking for i said i dont know. so the guy must have seen that i was almost ready to burst into tears and he came over and said what can i help you find what kinds of clothes do u like i said well i really dont know. He said what do you mean you dont know. I said well you dont understand before now all i have been wearing is basketball shorts and t-shirts. he smiled and said why i told him because before now i weighed about 300lbs he smiled and said no you didnt, i said um yeah i did and now that i can wear things in this store i dont even know where to start. He said well how much do you weigh now i said 198. he stoped and said holly crap! but he brought me all kinds of things to try on and worked with me untill i found a pair of jeans that fit perfect. He asked what size i was wearing right now i said a 14 he said no you my friend are in a size 11-12! Thanks to that guy i can now go into a store and know exactly what im looking for and what to buy although my size has dropped again i still know where i am supposed to be.

I know many people have had to feel like this sometime in there lives right. It is just so awesome to know that when i tell people how big i was they are like no way your so little now. Ill admit after that i went a little extream with the weight loss. And this right here is why they will not fill my band i lost to much weight to fast and with out really seeing it i was in trouble. I haven't been filled since January. I wasnt eating like i was supposed to and no i wasn't eating crap i was eating maybe once a day. and my band gets tighter and tighter when i don't eat. again i dont know why this happens it just seems to happen. I would eat one slice of lunch meat for lunch and again for dinner. I wasn't hungry and if i thought i might be i would drink something. Well my husband started trying to make me eat and thats when the throwing up started and im still fighting with it but im also eating right again and im trying very hard to do what i know i am supposed to do. And the treat of going to the hospital makes me want to stay on track. What i was doing wasn't right but i got carried away with all the weight that i was loosing and weighing myself everyday wasn't helping. And my scale was way off and that wasn't helping either when i thought that i weighted 198 or like a month and what i really was weighting was 189 well that's a big difference. I am back on track now and i gained a little weight back but it wasn't bad i didnt crumple and die but im slowly loosing weight again and the way that i am supposed to so im happy and i only weight myself once a month and when the doctor does it for me. And that takes a lot of pressure off my shoulder.

So even if you slip a little make sure you have someone to catch you and throw you back in place because everyone needs someone while dealing with change. And im not going to stop im am just going to do it smarter. And at the end of the day i know i am better then one year ago. and that to me is well worth it.

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Your blog helped me understand alot I felt like I was reading my own story....lol it's funny when I read about others and then say "hey..I'm not crazy it's not just me. I understand how you say that the band gets tighter when you don't eat that seems to be the stroy of my life..but the thing was, when I did eat I was never feeling full and would just eat to eat..yet I was tight...made no sence to me..but you say you lost weight and I'm struggling..not that I think if I don't eat I'll lose weight but I sometimes feel like I am gaining..I have had to have 2 unadjustments in the past 8 months. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be. It's been 2 years this month that Ive had the surgery and I have lost maybe 50 pounds..Of course now I have no insurance so when I have problems..All I can do is take fluid out and wait to heal (just went for another unadjustment due to possible ulcer) (I was getting sour stomach all the time and spitting up blood)...it's very frustraiting! I sometimes wonder if it's all worth it..

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IT is amazing to hear that you have lost over 100 lbs. It is so great to hear your story about going to the Buckle. I have walked by that store many times thinking the stuff looks so cute and knowing I cannot shop there. I will have my surgery on 5/22 and I know that it will be a difficult struggle. But I am still excited just to have the help of the band on my journey. I got up to 300 lbs once and since i had my son, I have been at 260 - 270. I am proud that I did not go back up to my top weigh but sad that I cannot get lower (for more than a month). I feel if I can maintain 6 years, then with the band I can do better.

I love reading other's stories and yours was great too. I need to hear postiive things from people that have been successful. Thanks.

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Thank You!!! I have to say i am pre op (4/26) and reading your story made me cry. because i cant even imagine weighing in the 100s i have been over weight as long as i remember, in fact i done even know when i weighed in the 100s. it is very eye opening for me to think omgoodness I will be able to do this I will be thin i am having a hard time wraping my mind around all of this i keep asking my husband Can I do this can this really work. and he tells me i can do it. i have a great support group through my family. You inspire me and i want tothank you again for sharing :)

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Wow thank you so much!! Its people like you that make me what to keep up my hard work. I am so happy that you have chosen to do the lap band. It was really hard to me to even begain to think of me being in the 100's to and the thought of me not being able to do it was a scary one but once the weight starts to come off and you feel better and you start to have this drive to get out and do something then it makes it all seem easy. Just remember im always here if you need to talk to someone and ill try to help you out. and Remember everyone is different and everyone looses different. Best of luck to you i know you can do it!!

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