So it's been a while. I have been uber busy with work and tutoring and the theater, so I haven't made much time for anything else. Including eating right and exercising. So it's no wonder that I haven't seen much weight loss since my fill. Consequently, I got discouraged today when I weighed myself and the scale was still resting in the mid-260s. And then I ate. Not because I was hungry, but because it was there. And it wasn't healthy. And it wasn't particularly enjoyable. And I didn't get full. How can I not get full when I have 8ccs in my 10cc band? This makes no sense to me. I'm feeling frustrated and a little discouraged.

I knew I wasn't eating right during the past two weeks and I blamed my crazy hectic schedule and promised myself I would do a "band test" after the play closed. Well, we closed Friday night and I start the band test tomorrow, so at least I didn't blow that. But I was really hoping to be out of the 260s by my next fill on Thursday and I really don't see that happening. Especially after that very large piece of banana bread (complimentary from the breakfast restaurant because they forgot to give me my beef bacon; I never would have ordered it!) and that homemade nacho dip with corn tortillas (because it was there). I've been good with portion control, but I have been eating too fast and certainly not the right things. Just because I can eat one cheeseburger over the course of four meals doesn't mean I should! I need to remember not to beat myself up over the bad choices and to praise myself for the good ones. Like declining the offer every time someone tries to hand me chocolate or soda or chips, which I would've said yes to pre-surgery. Or climbing the stairs sometimes - though not as often as I should - instead of taking the elevator. And despite my poor choices, at least I haven't gained. I've always said I'm very good at maintaining. Well, here we have it. A very high stress month and I haven't gained. I should be happy about that. Shouldn't I? But I didn't have the surgery so I could be happy because I didn't gain. I had it so I could lose! I want to be a loser!

Well, now that the show is over, I can focus more on my food intake and exercise and hopefully get back on track. I really wish that this country had a support group for people with the band so that I had a network here of people to encourage me and advise me. I feel I'm going at this sort of...blindly. I want to talk to people who have been successful and find out what they did so I can do it, too. Any advice, guys? What's worked for you?