If someone had told me a week ago that I wouldn’t be craving a cigarette first thing in the morning after not smoking for six days, I wouldn’t have believed them.

But, ‘tis true.

Yesterday made six days smoke-free for me. And yesterday morning, while drinking my coffee and taking my supplements, I did not want a cigarette. In fact, I can honestly say that I didn’t crave a cigarette at all yesterday.

Tonight at 7:00pm, I’ll officially be one week smoke-free, and I’m glad of it. However, I am cautious, too. Remember – I’ve been down this road before. Everything was hunky-dory until I hit the end of my fourth week. I’ll call it the Fourth Week Wall (FWW). Up to that time, I had lost all cigarette cravings, and I was feeling fine. Then I hit that FWW and I was depressed, crying, upset – and there wasn’t one damn thing I could do to stop it. I am NOT a high maintenance person, but I became such during that week. I loathed myself for what I had become. And to add insult to injury, the cigarette cravings returned, with a vengeance.

So, I started smoking again.

Now, THIS time I’m fortified for that FWW. After that last FWW episode, I went to my doctor and said, “Hey. This ain’t workin’ for me. You have GOT to tell me what in Hell’s the matter with me.” I ‘splained about the depression, et al, and that’s when he told me about the pleasure receptors in my brain just waiting to be filled by me taking a drag on a cigarette.

Oh. That made sense, because I instantly felt better with that very first cigarette.

So, that’s when he started me on Wellbutrin. He further ‘splained to me that it would take a few weeks – or even months – for it to build up in my system before I’d notice a difference.

He was right. I can tell a difference between this quit-smoking-attempt, and the last one. I’m pretty sure that’s why I am not having the cravings now.

But, we’ll see. We’ll see how I’m doing when I hit that Fourth Week Wall. Hopefully, not only will I make it to that wall, but I’ll be able to scale it and move on with life – smoke-free.

And now I hafta hit the treadmill for thirty minutes. I’ve gained about 10 pounds in one week of not smoking (you heard me correctly – that’s 10 – T-E-N – pounds). Holy Crap! If I continue to gain at this rate, by the time I hit that wall I won’t be able to lift my keister over it.

Teresita, angelburch, carol453, and KariK - thank you for all of your comments. I read them over and over again. I appreciate your support.

Now that I've got this not-smoking situation in check, I've got to get my mind geared for losing the weight I've gained this past week. It's 6:15am and I've got to hit the treadmill now before work.

THANKS, GALS!!

Don't even worry about the FWW, because there won't be one this time. You have a renewed sense of self and you know that you are worth it this time. You have goals to reach and you will not settle for slipping back into some bull. Have you started banking your cig money? If not start putting that money in a jar so you can see it add up.

Thanks for your message that was sweet. You guys are encouraging to me also. This may be a journal for our own thoughts but there is nothing like someone peeking in and telling you it is going to be ok. SMILE

Congrats Bullwinkle! I know that FWW well!!! I am fully prepared for mine, cuz it ain't gonna defeat me this time. Keep up the good work, and focus on the good stuff (that's you)!

Hi Bullwinkle,

I found you over under the Cincy link, but followed you over. I too am in the process of trying to get the lap band approved but don't see it happening with insurance, so Dr Curry may be out but I'm still going for it one way or another. Good luck with the no smoking thing I know that can be hard but so worth it in the end. Just think of all the extra $$ you will have in hand this time next year with cutting back on food and cigs

I'll follow along on your journey and may be sitting next to you some day in Dr C's office for a fill.