OMG, that's terrible. but before you start busting heads, did you use your work's insurance? maybe the rumor came down to office heads and one of supervisors let it slip? You have to go to work, don't let them get the best of you. And tell them, I was caught off guard yesterday yes I got lapband but I want to keep that information private. and I didn't appreciate someone flapping their F&*^$$& lips.

especially in a medical office. condfidentiality is number 1 rule and they broke it. I would have been sooo hot. Why doesn't hubby know?

I know its soo easy for someone else to say something so easy, but we are hear to support you. (I would have wanted to wipe that smirk off that girls face!)

How does your husband not know! Wow, I couldn't keep something like this from my hubby.

And I would be furious if what happened to you at work happened to me. But try not to overreact - easy to say from a distance, I know - but you still need to front up to work each day. I didn't tell anyone at my work until I had made some really good progress and was happy to talk about.

That was an eye opener, she is NOT a true friend to disclose something told to her in confidence! I understand how you feel, but it may not seem as bad in the am. But,she was WRONG and I would tell her NOTHING else!

Some guys dont want to talk about any "female" stuff. i have had uterine fibroids, I had 2 c-sections, and a ovarian cyst.....heck All I had to say was i was going in for them to look at something "on the inside" and he got grossed out......he wanted to come to surgery but i told him not to miss work because it was a dimple procedure and I would be home when he got off work! And thats how i played it off and still got sympathy and soup for having surgery.....

Girls can be our best friends or the biggest .....well you know. You walk in that work tomorrow with your SKINNY head held high. Rumors are rumors until we don't feed into them with negative energy. Positive thoughts girl. The truth is between you and God above and it doesn't matter what procedure you had done- you did it for YOU and your kiddos, so don't let them take that away. Kind of like you can't change stupid......you can't take the b*tc% out of a b*tc%!

I hate to say it but no matter who the people you tell are, most people find it too much to keep a secret for too long. I am guilty of telling things I know but shouldn't talk about, I hate it I don't do it with malice, I just want to share and I feel horrible when I have kept a secret. So I guess it's not right to put people in that position....I have learned my lesson. I am not bitter it's just what I have found! I would say deny it if you want and be completely comfortable with that. It is no one elses business and is true of most situations in life!

First, you owe it to your spouse to tell him. I prefer to be supportive but if you hide such a big thing from him, what else will you hide. Also, if he discovers this and realizes you have been lying (by omission) to him, he may consider it a justification to start lying to him. Overall, that's a bad idea.

As for your co-workers, someone clearly spilled the beans. This is very bad behavior on their part but it's also not very honest on your part to point to your successes, and give false hope based on those successes, when the reason has little to do with soup.

That being said, I told very few people. Unfortunately I have a friend who works in my doctors office who told my entire network of friends. That's right -- she violated HIPPA. I was irate and I'm still irritated by her. The reality is that most people don't understand bariatric surgery and they certainly do not understand that people with the band will have results that vary greatly from other procedures. The bottom line is that your health decisions are between you and your family -- not to be broadcast to the world if you choose not to tell them.

They did the same thing to me-- spread gastric bypass,,, I never said i had anything done except hernia repair which is true, I am loosing slowly, and they see me eating kinda normal, just that I am on a diet of sorts. They actually cornered me, in how much did you lose, when did you have surgery, and I went on about hernia. They over it by now, I was flavor of the month, now some gal quit -she will be the flavor for a while. I really do not care, but you must NEVER feel you need to give anyone any explanations for bettering your health. Never - ever- My ex told me> - what they eat- should not make you s..t.- move on with a clear mind and head UP! Congratulations on your valor to get the band.

wow! i am saddened that you had to have this experience, but you know "haters gon' hate" (!) so let them. i work in a space that is dominated by women and i knew that telling certain people would ensure that the whole office knew so i wouldn't have to tell my story a million times. i know we are all different, but i am now proud of the fact that i had the courage and smarts (pat, pat) to take advantage of my employer paying for me and my husband to have this procedure! i'm telling everyone now and it feels good. i have been holding this secret hostage since i began the process last summer. i still haven't told my mom, but like others have already expressed it may be a good idea to consider sharing the news with your husband in case complications arise. you must be doing a lot of things right if those office haters are willing to go to any length to make you feel and look bad. head up! keep plugging away:)

Your husband (besides yourself and your doctor) should know. That is your support system.

As for those office people, I am going to keep this short and simple. I know your feelings were hurt, but let them say what they want. ITS about YOU. Regardless of what you did to lose the weight, it is working. That is what matters.

I had the same thing happen to me at my current place of employment, and to be honest at first I was like "how did everyone know?" now I don't care because I'm doing this for ME and ME only.

Don't ever be embarassed about having this surgery, those skinny b!&$^#s probably couldn't even handle what we had to go through! Keep your head up!

I would recomend that you tell people around you because one day you might have a serious stick and then you will need the support I wasnt going to tell anybody either because they all want to give the judgment but i did and i got it from a few that said they where just concerned because of the danger anyways i decided screw that and i tell everyone that it comes up with and if they want to judge they are just jealous because i am loosing weight and they are not getting healthy

Good for you for taking the steps to better health! I agree with all of these posts. Your co-worker had no right to blab out like that. That action tells me she is either jealous or vindictive...or both. However, it IS your body and its nobody else's business how you decide to get healthy...unless you want to make it their business. It may be tough, but try to forgive (because we are all called to forgive) her, pray for her ill actions and then file it away. I do agree with sharing with more people that you truly trust mainly for support but also, as insanejane said for safety reasons. I have found, with my co-workers, that being completely honest with them up-front has been great. I had a couple of people that thought I was crazy for doing something "so drastic" (yes...drastic was the word used), but after I explained my reasons, how simple the procedure was, and how the band actually worked, attitudes changed. Those couple of people have realized that the band is a tool...not a magic wand...and I still have to work and make right choices for this thing to work. I am saying a prayer for you for guidance in this situation and the ability to stay strong and focused on this journey. You can do it...don't let anyone else deter you or try to tear you down! Blessings!

I work for the hospital where I had my band done, I happen to also work in the Insurance billing dept. I, too, chose not to tell everyone in my office (there are about 100 people in this office). I did tell 2 people, one is a close friend, the other is the lead for someone I was worried about finding out. Well, the person that I was worried about, did find out (she looked at my medical records) and then had teh nerve to confront me about it, then tell me about another person that had it done, and talk loud enough that people around my desk could hear the conversation. I told her several times that I did not want the whole office to know. I went to her lead and told her what happened and said she needed to discuss this with her as it is a HIPPA violation. When she confronted me again, i went to management. At that point I had to tell my manager about the surgery (which I did not want to do) and he took care of it. If she says another word she will lose her job!

Wow, I would have lost my mind and snapped just for being "called out" like that. I work in a small office about 25 or so directly around me, my team of 4 and about 4 people not on my team know. I am the social butterfly in my office so its obvious when I don't eat the cookies and cakes that seem to come through the office often. I'm sure others will figure it out soon but no one has straight out asked me. 1 girl I'm not very close with beat around the bush a bit asking very quietly "sooo why don't you want a piece of cake or why can't you eat a donut" I just smile and say "Because 2012 is my year to treat myself and health the right way"

it isn't a secret, if someone asked me I'll tell the truth but I won't volunteer to talk about my personal goals with anyone but my closest co-workers and family.

I am so sorry that happened to you.It would make me crazy to think that people thought I had gastric bypass when I didn't. I personally would be compelled to go back to that person and tell them what I did do and ask her to stop any gossip and to respect my privacy. I was initially worried that people would think i took the easy way out when I got my my band. But i don't consider being at my last rope and having surgery and spending a huge amount of money easy. I hope you are feeling better soon about your co-workers extremely inappropriate behaviour! Keep moving forward and do what you need to do.

I work for the hospital where I had my band done, I happen to also work in the Insurance billing dept. I, too, chose not to tell everyone in my office (there are about 100 people in this office). I did tell 2 people, one is a close friend, the other is the lead for someone I was worried about finding out. Well, the person that I was worried about, did find out (she looked at my medical records) and then had teh nerve to confront me about it, then tell me about another person that had it done, and talk loud enough that people around my desk could hear the conversation. I told her several times that I did not want the whole office to know. I went to her lead and told her what happened and said she needed to discuss this with her as it is a HIPPA violation. When she confronted me again, i went to management. At that point I had to tell my manager about the surgery (which I did not want to do) and he took care of it. If she says another word she will lose her job!

WOW this a serious HIPPA violation. i would so pursue that! ugh!

Hi - I'm soooo sorry you had to go thru this.

Is there a chance that the mean lady just jumped to conclusions because you lost so much weight. Perhaps your co-worker didn't tell. After all, the mean lady did get the type of surgery wrong. If your co-worker told her you had lap band then I think the mean lady would have said lapband and not bypass.

Just a possibility.

Maybe it's because of my age or for whatever reason. I don't hide it except from my parents but only because I want to surprise them in August. They live 400 miles away and have no idea yet.

Anyway, first of all I would have down played it then probably would have given this co-worker a lesson on the different types of procedures. This way I would have been in control of the situation instead of giving her the upper hand. But like I said, that's just me. I know..I'm a control freak!

Go to work with your head held high and keep up the good work. Let them keep following their 'diets' if it does them good. My mom always told us when we were in school, the "friends" there are just school mates. People at work are just co-workers. People you associate with outside of obligatory places are your true friends. (sounds better in our native language! LOL)

I am about to get the LB in 2 weeks. I only told a few close folks, however, for everyone who got it at my very large establishment, there were always rumors, and people always will talk. Heck, even if you loose it without surgery, they will assume the lader. I am 33 as well, but will say that at this point in my life, I live for me and my family. Eating unhealthy junkfood, smoking cigs, alcohol abuse, whatever the addiction...any healthy tool that helps me change for the better is nothing to be embarressed about. In Fact, I praise anyone who wants to be healthy and take control of thier addiction. For the most part, ignorance fuels people thoughts and actions at time. Hold your head up, love yourself and be proud. Having the support of your family may or maynot have helped, just having a loving and supportive ear is important in times of despair.

Very sorry for the co workers ignorance....you must be looking VERY good...if your making co workers that jelouse....You go Girl !!!

Sexy.... So i'm just reading this blog and have to say that im mad for you. I only told two people at work about my Lb surg.... one of which is one of my closest friends and the other was my Mentor in the LB process. She had had it done the year before and was very instrumental in my getting the LB. With out her i know i would still be 223Lb or more by now.

Any-who.... i was able to keep my secret from co-workers because the day i went back.... i got laid off from my job... So i started cleaning house with a friend... So when people asked, i said it was the constant moving that was helping me lose... Which was true. Now 2 1/2 years later, most everyone knows... I came to realize that, having the LB was not something i should be embarrassed about... it took me a while though.... I felt like people would think i was weak and could do it on my own.... which is partly true.. So now i have a prepared speech when i get asked... so i don't get caught off guard again.

On the other hand, the Bi&*h in me would have to pull this person aside and say.... Well you really caught me off guard yesterday.... why did you say what you said? And how did you know when i have only told two people...?

The hubby thing.... my hubby didn't want me to have the LB surg.... but, i did it anyway. He still has some issues with it and sometimes makes hurtful commits that i have a "surgical" body now.... In fact last night, i told him that my LB dr. wants me to be one of his "testimonials" and he said.... why, he didn't give you that body... the PS did.... I set up in the chair and told him.... well you d**k an't getting hard either with out Cialis. So i guess we can thank the doctor for that.... boy that really got to him.... hehehehehe.. He said, i don't what you taking pictures in a swim suit for everyone to see.... i said... no dumbass... reg. clothes... who said anything about swimsuits.... He then apologized. I know he's just scared that one day i will leave because of my "new Body", even though i tell him all the time... if i ever leave, it will be because of your attitude.. not my body. But for the most part he has been supportive and i agree that you should sit him down with all your info on the band and tell him... He will figure it out and then you will have to tell him you have not been 100% honest with him. It will make you feel better to get that load off your shoulders.

I wish you continued success....

Congratulations on your weight loss. I'm sorry you had to experience the ordeal with the coworker. I work in an office with about 40 women. Most of them know about my procedure. I didn't just volunteer the info to all of them, but when I had to do the 2 week liquid diet prior to the surgery, that's when the questions started because that was when we were having potlucks, celebrations, etc and Ididn't participate.

I am a part of a research program sponsored by my insurance company. My carrier does NOT cover any type of weight loss surgery. But as part of this program, the surgery and follow up for the next five years are at no expense to me. I took this opportunity to share the info with other coworkers that could benefit from it too. Yes, there were some haters, because some people are just going to be negative regardless. I am the type of person that's going to do what I'm going to do. I didn't seek anyone's advice. I researched it, informed myself of the pros and cons, prayed about it and I went for it!

Being that I was a person that loved to eat, initially I think they were under the impression that I wouldn't stick it out. I lost 11 lbs pre-op and I have lost 19lbs post-op. They see that I am serious. But their opinion never mattered. I did this for me. I have so much more energy. I do more activities with my children. I'm also doing this for the other people that that this study will have an impact on. My results along with the others that are participating will affect whether our carrier will come on board and start covering it.

I have a tremendous support system! My mom, my sisters, my children, their dad, my friends, coworkers and the new friends I have made on this site. We may have our starts and stops with this journey, but we will be successful!