I've been doing a lot of thinking about one particular habit that dies awfully hard - eating what's on your plate whether you like it or not. I know that there are times when we should choose to eat certain things because they are good for us, but if they're bad for our health and we don't like them, why should we be eating them? And by we, I mean me. Does anybody else do this, or is it just me?

I really started to think about this a few weeks ago at dinner. Every Wednesday, the church down the street from us holds a community meal that is free to everyone. We always get it, because it is a nice break from cooking for me and something different every time. That day it was spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and fruit. I was eating the spaghetti when I suddenly realized, hey, this doesn't taste good at all. It was greasy and salty and not at all the way I would choose to have it. But I kind of mentally shrugged and thought, oh well, it's free (well, we did put money in the donation jar, but it's not like we went out to a restaurant.) But here's the thing - even though it was unpleasant, and I knew it was bad for me, I still continued to eat it. In fact, I finished it. Then I sat there staring at the grease at the bottom of the styrofoam container and thought, now why did I just do that?

It was then that it occurred to me that all those years of my grandparents constantly scolding me to finish what was on my plate has really ingrained itself more deeply than I imagined. Between that and the years of mindless eating, I had stopped being picky about what I put in my mouth. I realized at that moment that it was something I had to change.

Over the next few days, I watched how my son ate his dinner. If he liked it, he would put a bite in his mouth, put down his silverware, chew it thoroughly, talk a little bit, and then eat another bite. If he didn't like it, he would refuse to eat it. On those days I would push him to eat at least three bites, and sometimes that was all he would eat. So I have decided that from now on, I will try to eat more like my son. After all, those are the habits I will need after I am banded anyway, so why not start learning them now? I will make my best attempt to do all of the following at every meal:

• pay attention to the flavor of the food I am eating
  
• put down my fork and have some conversation between bites
  
• chew thoroughly
  
• if I don't like it, I won't eat it (within reason)
  

I hope that by doing these things, I can start to develop those good eating habits that I will need to be successful in losing and maintaining my weight.

Things have been changing quite a bit here over the past week or so. I haven't been blogging nearly as much because my boyfriend has been on the computer every night. He had quit his job driving the Amish construction crews because they weren't paying him (yes, the Amish can be jerks too, lol) and things were pretty tight here for a while. But last week, his dad bought a local business and has hired him as the general manager (woohoo!) so he has been pretty busy. It's going to be crazy for a while until we get settled into a routine again. And another super bonus is that I will be doing some cleaning on their closed days, so I can finally have some income of my own and have a reason to get out of the house! I would be doing cartwheels with excitement if I weren't so achy and, well, 360-pounds-y. (lol)

I hope you all had a great Valentine's day! <3