The emotional down, that is. Hopefully, there will be lots of down happening on my scale in the weeks and months to come. My last entry was a bit on the depressed/depressing side, and I'm going to work not to let that take over. After all, things are actually pretty good.

The surgery was surprisingly easy, in more ways than one. Since my insurance excluded the procedure from my policy, I ended up paying cash for it, and let me tell you, that certainly speeds up the process--so much so, that when I gave my surgery date to the program coordinator at the center where I had the procedure (a little less than three months after attending the mandatory information seminar on bariatric surgeries in general), she informed me that she thought I had set a new speed record for the pre-op phase of the process. And the surgery itself was way less scary thanks could have been. In and out of the operating room in 1 hour, and home in my recliner within another six.

Surprisingly, the incisions ended up being the least noticeable pain after the fact. The shoulder pain, which I hadn't heard of but now know is normal, was much more uncomfortable. In reality, the incisions just itch a lot. Only the largest one is a problem, and that's mostly just sore, as if I had pulled a muscle there a few days ago and it's now slowly repairing itself. It only really bugs me when I stretch. All in all, the recovery is going smooth and easy, just like the surgery. Let's hope it's an omen of how the weight loss will go as well.

So really, I should be feeling pretty good. And I am, on top of the underlying low grade fear. This could mean very good things for me, especially now that I'm on mashies; it's amazing how that one little step can make a person feel sooooooooo much more human. In two and a half weeks, I go back to the surgeon for what I hope will be my first fill, and then the journey can really start.

Please, bandster hell, go easy on me. I'm still feeling a little fragile.