It's times like these past few days that make me question whether I can actually do this or not.

The past several days have been really rough. Thursday through Sunday were high pain days, the kind of days where I really didn't want to do anything but curl up on the couch and cry. I have tramadol to take for the pain, so I went ahead and took it for the last two days. Then Sunday I woke up with a migraine so bad that I couldn't keep anything down, including water. After throwing up for six hours, I decided to go to the emergency room. I really dislike going in there for pain, but I didn't want to end up getting dehydrated and become really sick. They gave me fluids and a few shots, and I came home feeling halfway human again.

Yesterday I laid on the couch for most of the day, being harassed by my three-year-old. I don't usually do that, so he just assumed that I was doing it for his own personal enjoyment and tried to use me as a jungle gym. To help me feel better, he put his praise CD on his radio and turned it up really loud so I could hear it. He danced and sang for me for a little while, but then he got bored and went to play on the computer with his dad, leaving me to listen to the music on repeat. It was very sweet of him to try and help, but let me tell you that one can only listen to the Veggie Tales cast sing "This Little Light Of Mine" before one seriously considers chucking the CD out the window.

Of course, with all this pain competing for attention in my head, my healthy eating plan backslid quite a bit. We had takeout twice, and the other days were mostly high-carb convenience foods. I know that it probably didn't help me feel better, but when I'm in pain I don't care too much about healthy - it's all about what I can make with the least amount of effort. It's this very thing that makes me wonder how I will do this after being banded. I try very hard to keep fairly healthy stuff around that I can make quickly, but when that runs out I'm willing to get almost anything as long as it's not ridiculously unhealthy. And sending my boyfriend to the store to get "something good" for supper is not necessarily a good idea either. I guess next time I need to specify "good" as in "healthy," and definitely NOT pizza rolls. I guess this is something I will have to talk to my nutritionist about when I see her next week; maybe she will have some ideas that I can use for the next time.

I am proud to say that I won the battle with the leftover chocolate cake in the refrigerator, though. My boyfriend ate most of it, and left the last slice for me. I was determined not to eat any more of it, so I just ignored it until it went stale and then I actually threw it away!!!