At the advice of my doctor, I went to see a nutritionist this past Wednesday. Well I guess technically she's a "wellness nurse" but my doc called her a nutritionist, and that's basically what she does. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. I guess all these years of being treated as sub-human by health professionals because of my weight has really taken a toll on me. But I was pleasantly surprised to find that she was very nice, supportive, and upbeat. Almost a little too upbeat. I think of myself as a generally positive person, but the people who wake up spouting sunshine just drive me a little bit crazy.

In any case, she seemed very optimistic about my chances for success. It surprised her that I have already been making so many positive changes, and she was pretty happy with the diet I put myself on. I agreed to start seeing her twice a month to do weigh-ins and some tweaking to my diet. She mentioned in passing that she thought everything I had done so far would be a sign to the insurance company that I am really serious and committed. But she also said that phrase I keep hearing, "Maybe you'll do so well you won't need the surgery!" I would love to not need the surgery, and I'll definitely stay open to the idea that I might not need it, but since all of my past efforts have only gotten me to 370 pounds and frustrated, I have my doubts. There were many times that I have been serious and committed to losing weight, and some times that I did lose a fair amount, but obviously that didn't stay off. But we will see.

On a more positive note, I am beginning to gain some ground in my battle against overeating. For a long time now, I have been one of those people who will clean my dinner plate, then eat whatever my son didn't finish because "I don't want to be wasteful." I've been fighting hard to break that habit, and I can say with some measure of pride that I have gone almost a week without doing that. I realized that by eating that leftover food, I am not doing a good thing. It's not all that wasteful to throw out a few spoonfuls of food. Not to mention the extra calories I was "wasting" by eating it! So that has finally begun to sink in. Can I have an NSV before I've been banded?

And I've also been sticking to the rule that I set with my nutritionist - no eating after 9 pm. Period. Which was rough that first day. My stomach felt like it was turning inside out, and my brain was screaming at me to go find something to eat ASAP or I would die. I did the emotional equivalent of sticking my fingers in my ears and yelling "I can't heeeeeeear youuuuu... lalalalala" and I survived!

So yay for small victories, because sometimes they're the most impactful ones.