Today is my one month bandiversary.

I had planned to update my blog here frequently so I could record my journey, but I haven’t updated it as much as I intended.

Recovery

My small incisions are nearly healed. I expect that those scars will disappear, much like the ones I had from the endo surgeries.

My belly button incision seems ok too. But I wish they had made this incision in the same place where the prior scar was. Even if I do get small enough to wear a bikini, the only person that is going to be able to closely examine my belly button is Nick and he won’t notice it. (He will just be thrilled for me to be healthy, happy, and confident again.)

My port incision is healing nicely as well. I still need to be careful of where waistbands hit my belly. This scar will likely be visible, but hopefully it will fade to a white line. One obvious scar is much better than many pounds of quivering blubber.

Weight Loss

I started this journey very close to 220. I was struck with the realization that 250 lbs was only a few months away, if I didn’t make a drastic change. I am now in the low 190’s and the 180’s are so close.

I have hit a plateau. Although I am frustrated, logically, I know that my body has dropped a good amount of weight and is still healing from surgery. I didn’t start recording my weight until I began the pre-op diet, so I have “officially” lost 20 lbs (since the beginning of the preop diet). My scale seems stuck in the 190’s, but I do have to acknowledge a bit of progress. I was stuck fluctuating between a low of 193 and 195. After a week of stick to my plan (even during Thanksgiving and even incorporating Nick’s Egg Nog Cheesecake into my meals for three days) I am now fluctuating between a low of 191 and 193.

Exercise

I need to increase my activity level. I have to stop inventing excuses, getting comfortable on the couch and not thinking about activity. Nick is being so supportive. Tonight we are going out to buy a Kinect game that looks like fun and that will get our heart rates elevated.

As soon as I am cleared for full exercise, I need to commit to using Mom’s gym and pool. The indoor pool will be nice. Hopefully, I will begin to enjoy swimming laps again.

Clothing

My clothes are fitting a lot better. I have been wearing tops that I haven’t been able to wear in almost a year. There are a few that look good from the front, but not from the back. A month ago, I would have worn them and ignored the rolls in the back.

My jeans are getting loose. Soon I won’t be able to wear my “big” jeans at all. My work pants are getting too loose and too long. I need to go through the clothes in the guest room and get rid of the garbage and see what fits of the remaining clothing.

My Appearance

I can see a difference in my face. My chin is more defined. I also see that my boobs and butt are shrinking. Usually, my booty is the last part to slim down. I hope I can hold out on replacing pants as long as possible. I am thinking that buying cotton Capris are the best idea because they won’t drag on the ground if they get loose.

Health

It seems that my blood pressure is back to the normal range. It wasn’t an issue in the hospital at all, which is a huge relief.

I feel more engerized. I’m not napping as much during the day (only once the whole Thanksgiving weekend). I also feel much better rested when I wake. I’m not sitting on the couch, sipping coffee and trying to wake up! I wonder if 30 lbs was enough of a loss to lessen the sleep apnea?

Appetite and Diet

I am doing surprisingly well at following my doctor’s protocol, even though he is stricter than most of the diet plans I see people mention on Lap Bank Talk. I am satisfied by the allowed portions of protein, but I am getting hungry before 4 to 5 hours after a meal.

I also need to learn to s l o w d o w n and take small bites. I am doing ok about 75% of the time, but the 25% of the time that I am eating mindlessly may (will) cause me problems when I have a fill or two.

I am so scared of getting PB’s and stuck episodes. I have one month to learn to ALWAYS be mindful when I eat before my band will begin to teach me the hard way.

Going Forward

I promise myself to continue my commitment to myself. I am worthy of my best efforts.