No honey, you're not being mean, but this is going to happen. He doesn't have the lap band, you do. And I'm sure you knew how it was going to be before you got it. I don't want to sound mean to you, because I'm on your side. I get it. It's not easy by any stretch of the imagination, but I promise you it will be worth it!!! It stinks that he mentioned he wanted to share the cookies with you. That was definitely thoughtless, but it's pretty new, and maybe he forgot, or just wasn't thinking. At any rate, I don't feel like you will be able to expect him to not make popcorn, not have snacks, and not continue to eat the same way he did before. Think about how difficult it was for you not to eat that way before surgery, and what you had to go through in an effort to make it stop. YOU had the surgery, so the difficult part is yours to take on. It would be awesome if he could manage to stop eating in his normal way to make it easier on you, but that's not likely to happen. Sooooo, the best advice I have to give you is to hang in there, and don't be too hard on people for doing what they have always done. And mostly, remember that nothing tastes as good as being thin feels!! NOTHING! You can do it and I hope you will. By the time your first 100 pounds is gone, you will realize that it was a very small price to pay! Trust me on this! Cheering you on from the Nebraska prairie...

No, you are not alone. At home, I am surrounded by skinny teenagers and a house full of junk food. I just ignore it. I am typing this while sitting next to a bowl full of chocolates! You are just out of surgery and your body and mind, still really craves this stuff and that might help explain your reactions. Just stick with the diet plan (protein+veg first, minor amounts of carbs) and in a few weeks you will be able to ignore the junk food. Good luck and I hope you have a better day.

You know what, I learned that the one thing I grew the most with is will power. I really had to just take a step back and think I don't need it and say no. It gets much easier!

It has its ups and downs but worth the effort. I have 3 kids two are teenagers. Needless to say they only want to eat the things I buy for my diet needs. Then when I get enough for them they don't want it and complain that they only have healthy stuff. My teenage daughter is one the biggest challenge. My sister doesn't help either making things I can not have at all. Then she tries to serve them to me insisting I try it. So I totally hear where you are coming from. We can do this though!

Crystal

No your not being mean just honest. It is critical that our family and spouse support us, it makes it difficult if our own families are causing the stress in our lives. Once you calm down you need to sit down with your spouse and family and develop some ground rules. Yes we have the surgery and yes we are the ones who are changing our behavior but our changes do effect our families just as much as us. We are going to be moody, difficult to live with and we also need someone to hold ourselves accountable not sabatoge us offering a muffin. There is a high incidence of divorce in weight loss patients. That is one reason why it is important to do the pre counciling and also some of us continue to seek support post surgery. Losing weight is not just a physical journey but a very emotional journey. We have a lot to overcome besides dropping pounds. We all carry a lot of baggage with us along the journey and it takes years to undo behaviors we have lived with all our lives. I know your mad but once you have calmed down, talk to him, tell him how this makes you feel and how frustrated it makes you. Make him part of your journey, take him to a support group so he has a better understanding of what you are going through. Don't assume he knows or understands because honestly he has no clue. Good luck to you, and know we all go through this and you can make this change.

I am constantly in front of non-dieters...in my own home and at work. What works for me is knowing that what they are eating isn't going to help any of them look or feel better. It is hard when you are hungry and want to stuff anything in your face, but!, take a breath and remind yourself that YOU are on a journey of being healthy and fit! Food is not life. It's hard to break old habits but it can be done! Let the snackers snack and us 'losers' lose!

Remember you did this for yourself I buy the calicum chews and they help for when I want candy its like taking your calicum and having candy too.

I am 7 day out of surgery and its THANKSGIVING! My husband keeps asking what are you going to eat? Instead of saying you are getting together for family time and will be fine, he is mentally setting me up for failure?? Go figure...I haven't told any family members yet as I'm sure I will be scrutinzed and that's why I needed to find a forum to get the support. For once, I wasn't watching The Biggest Loser and eating pizza! I'm glad but sad to hear that others will encounter the same challenges.

The first three days after my surgery, my family did fast food take out. It was weird. I wasn't hungry but just seeing it made me want to eat. Thankfully, I was still acutely aware of my surgery and the feeling that I wasn't going to screw anything up. But I was frustrated with their choices so soon after my decision.

Then I got upset with them when they changed the Thanksgiving menu to fit what I could and couldn't eat. I was uncomfortable that they were bucking tradition because of me. When I look back now, they really couldn't win regardless of what they did.

I realized that while they were along for the ride, it was my decision to have the surgery done. I have to figure out a way to make it work for all of us. I serve healthier food but have to remember to eat what I know is right and walk away from the other stuff. Sometimes it isn't easy.

I wish you luck in your journey. Remember that as big as the changes are for you, they are huge for the non-bandsters of your life as well.