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sad and frustrated

jennifer1

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I just looked and realized i haven't blogged since july i think. wow and i have nothing really exciting to say now. i did make my size 16 for my bday in august and that's where i still am today almost 3 months later. i have had 4 fills and 2 unfills. let me tell you being too tight is a nightmare. i was too tight for 2 weeks(long story about getting into the doctor) and lost 9 pounds, great, but once i got unfilled those 9 pounds came back so fast it made my head spin. now my band is so loose i feel like i dont even have one.:(

 

i cant get back into my doctor until dec 5th for a fill. i think i know now i need to be between 7.5ccs and 8cc for my green zone. after those 9 pounds i have just been gaining and loosing the same 2-3 pounds like i was before my 4th fill. my goal was to be in a 14 by thanksgiving, but that's obvioiusly not happening. my only saving grace is that i still go to the gym 4 days a week if not for that i think i would gain all my weight back. am i not eating 100% right now and i know i'm not. i've fallen right back into almost all of my bad eating habits. i just want dec 5th to hurry and get here so i can get back on track. i have friends that say well since you dont have the right filll right now is when you have to exercise self control. WELL WHY DIDNT I THINK OF THAT INSTEAD OF PAYING $12K FOR A SURGERY I DIDNT NEED WHEN I CAN JUST USE SELF CONTROL!!!!!!:angry: ugh! i regret telling some people I have the band now. i am so afraid of going thru thanksgiving with my band like this. i am going to take my appetite suppresants with me cuz i cant trust myself and force myself to drink plenty of water! Sorry for this cry baby post, but i needed to get it out my system. Thanks for reading whomever decides to read this.

jennifer



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i'm sorry to hear you are struggling. sounds like you are doing your best under the circumstances! treat this like the pre-op diet - just 20 days until the fill, 19 days, 18 days etc. - a true countdown. Best of luck to you!!!!:D

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Jennifer, believe in your self. Yes this is hard, and I think we all thought this would be our saving grace and all knowing answer to life long diet frustrations. But the one thing we all still bring to the table after lap band surgery is our behavior. That bad behavior you refer to is not going to change overnight just becasue some doctor put a band around our stomach, it takes time. As for self control, none of us have it. If you took my band away todo, I know I would gain weight. I struggle daily with making healthy choices and rewiring years of bad behavior. Holidays coming up and lets just all admit it, it is going to suck,,, If we let it. I appreciate your post and getting out frustrations on paper costs us a lot less calories than a snack. This has been my hardest conquest, learning not to eat when I am furstrated or worried. You can do this, and do not reqret telling others, that is our one thing that makes us stay accountable to ourselves. As for your friends telling you to use self control, sadly they are correct but you are also correct if we had self control we would not have a band around our stomach. I call my band insurance, it is that little extra I have to pay ever day just to make sure I have a safety net and a healthier life. You can do this, think of this as a small road block. Best of luck and know we all believe in you and know you can be successful.

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I feel your pain Jennifer! I only have one fill and I don't feel any different. I feel like I might be losing some inches, but no where I want which is my stomach. I have pretty good about working out, (on average 5 days a week with a work out group here at work, doing weights and cardio) and still I can eat a good amount and I am not losing any weight.

I sometimes regret telling others about the surgery because everytime I talk to someone or see someone, they are like, "how much have you lost" and than I look like an ******* saying.. well "nothing yet, I am still getting my fills" :( I am sure they are all thinking....wow..... she spent so much money and isn't getting results. . I question and feel that way too sometimes! I am trying to stay postive and all the post are helpful.

I get my 2nd fill on 11/22, I am praying I will have restriction before thanksgiving!

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JUST HOLD ON!

remember the race is not given to the swift(how fast we lose)

nor is the battle given to the strong(when we cant seem to get over temptation hurdles).

But the reward is given to the one that endures... so girl friend, never give up. just keep doing what you know is right to do...

on thanksgiving, eat really slow and off of salad plates. thats what I intend to do and I'm not even banded yet. ( Dec 13th is my date)

I agree wit Loretta's comment above.

Love ya sis and I'm praying for ya

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jennifer, congratulate yourself on the weight you have lost. Ad the fact that you hit the gym four days a week is favulous. For thanksgiving, use a salad plate and fill it up with protein and vegies and fruits. Eat the protein first. Are you taking your vitamins? You can do this, hon. It is a marathon, not a race. Pace yourself, drink lots of water, and count your blessings. Dec 5th will be here before you know it! All the best to you,

Melinda

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You are not in this alone. We all face these challenges in which we can overcome. Shopping for some items for Thanksgiving dinner today was very hard. I use to be the one cooking for days putting out trays and trays of food. This is for sure different. But the reward is to come.

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sorry for the late response everyone, i hadnt been on in a while. THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND ENCOURGEMENT! i made it thru thanksgiving without eating out of control and didnt gain weight. well that dec 5th appointment was cancelled by the doc and rescheduled for the 12. so 2 more days!!!! surprizingly i have lost 5 pounds during this 6 week nightmare of no restriction and i do believe i owe that to working out.

and melinda..yeah i didnt wanna hear the self control part, but i needed to and thanks for saying that!

i did post a whole new entry in my blog recently, but it disappeared! ugh! so i thought i'd just update here.

THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!

Lady T it's almost here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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