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Why do hide our decision about our weight surgery?

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Maddy

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Recently I ran into an old friend I haven't seen in a while. She recognized my weight loss Nf asked me how I lost the weight. I hesitated for a moment. I wasn't sure if I should tell her I had the gastric surgery 3 months ago. Why? I decided quickly to tell her that I had the surgery. Why should we hide our smart decision to finally attack our weight issue? Do you have a hard time telling people about your weight decision?

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I tell everyone. I don't have any problem with it. I have never had any negative feedback, not too my face anyway! I feel like it helps to keep me accountable as well.

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I am honest with everyone. When people ask, how did you lose so much weight. I say, I had WLS. I tried for years to lose my weight and keep it off and failed, I am not ashamed to admit that I failed at diet and exercise and needed help. I actually think my honesty has helped me to be successful to date with the lap band because I was honest and I knew everyone was watching. My biggest fear with this surgery was failure, I had read the blogs, listened to others struggles, saw people at work fail and I did not want to be another statistic in the weight loss war. So I took an open approach and shouted from the roof top, So far my honesty has worked for me, it was a life changing decision for me and I have no regrets.

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ive kept it a secret cause I dont feel like answering questions. My in-laws know and my household, but thats it. PLus i'm a slow loser.

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im kind of in the middle... sometimes it just comes out and some times not..... most of the time i say i watch what i eat and exercise. Which is true. I find i have an easier time telling the waitress than a friend.... crazy i know.

At first i told people and got tired of "the look".... you know the "you took the easy way out" look. And if i get that, i jump into action and set them straight on how hard this really is....

Good luck..

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Interesting question, I think for me years of shame and the constant yo yo-ing of losing and gaining with the past 20 years of people periodically if I lose, wow you look good, what are you doing. I have found in the past seven weeks since surgery that I am being very open with most people who have know me for a while. It is greeted with support and friends excited about my decision. I had my first fill yesterday and was drinking only liquids yesterday and while I was teaching my grad class a student offered me a piece of chocolate I said no thanks and she pushed a bit, and I said I am only on liquids right now. After class I told her why, and it was fine. But in going back to that original question I think it comes form years of feeling shame from obesity.

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Opie, well said "shame" and why should we feel shame? Personally, I have been on a diet my entire life. I feel for the first time I am in control of "me". Talking about this issue helps me and I know helps our other fellow lap bands and sleevers get passed the fears of being in the closet.

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The answers you get from people will let you know who real;ly cares and who doesn't. Have no shame, you made a life-saving excellent decision

Michael Pickert MD

michaelwasfat.blogspot.com

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I wasn't going to tell anyone (except close friends and family)...I then decided to tell someone I thought was a friend at work. She knew that I was working for months to get approved through my insurance but I think she thought that because it was taking so long I probably would just give up...well I didnt and when I told her that I was approved for surgery her facial expression was anything but accepting. She almost seemed mad...She is overweight herself and swears that she can do it on her own and that surgery is just the easy way out...if she only knew...After she found out EVERYONE I work with found out. Which was fine. Im not hiding my life from anyone. But I work with some really negative nancy's so I would say only 1/4 of the people actually "approved" of MY decision. Either way I dont care what everyone else thinks. I am doing this MY way and as far as Im concerned it takes a really strong person to do what us lapbanders do!!! :D

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I am also struggling with this issue. My surgery is schuled for 10/27/11 so far I have only told my 2 sisters and my children. I wasn't even going to tell them but my visit to the psychologist made me think alot on my reasons,( which of course is fear of failure yet again) and it was nobodys business but my own. Although surgery is pretty safe with any surgery their are risk and as he said to me; Don't take from them the opportunity to say, I love you Ma. If anything ever happened I would have denied them our last love you's. Reading these blogs have helped me think about telling ppl after surgery with their questions. "Shame" is a biggie. I have much to think about and re "coming out of the closet" and it does take a very stong person to do this !!

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Sarah,

Thanks for writing in... Your friend doesn't seem happy? Perhaps she is jealous that you are taking the right steps to a better life. Shame on your friend for not backing you. You need positive people in your arena not people that are going to give you a hard time. Family is your BEST support. Without the strong arms of my husband (Eli) and our daughter (Sami), I don't think I would have made it this far.

Congrats on sticking with it and not giving up on you dreams... for a better you! Keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

Maddy

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I AM PANICKING....WHAT IS WRONG, ANYBODY HAVE OR HAS HAD THIS PROBLEM?

I AM INTO DAY #4 AND NO WEIGHT LOSS AND NO CHEATS I AM SO SCARED WHAT IS WRONG AND WHY AM I NOT DROPPING ANY WEIGHT. I TALKED WITH MY DR TODAY AND THEY SAID I HAVE TO INCREASE MY FLUIDS, BUT AT 800-900 CALORIES A DAY, PLEASE NOT EVEN A POUND. THEY WONT DO SURGERY IF I DONT LOSE 10 LBS BY 10/24/11 SURGERYDATE IS 10/27/11. ANY ADVICE? PLEASE HELP

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Coming out of the kitchen closet isn't an easy decesion. I grant you that. But being able to talk about to others helps you continue on. Some of my friends were not swayyed one way or the other. Some were "CONGRATS" and a few were shocked! Getting a mixed reaction is apart of our daily lives. Each person has a different outlook on how they view things. Its so true, skinny ppl have no clue what we are up against. They say "just put the fork down". Its much more than that.

Congrats on your current weight loss. Each pound is one pound less you had before. Try not to look back on what you did in the past rather what you are doing now to change it. I too have been up and down the scale before. Feels at times I am married to it!

You have made a decesion to change the way you view food. Having any kind of gastic procedure is a step in the right direction. True as well the pounds are not going to melt away. We still have to work hard on making the right food decesions... not always an easy task.

Keep in touch and read the blogs. They are a great tool for you to learn new techniques and tips on how to stay on track. Wishing you much luck and thank you for writing in.

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Don't panic...keep doing what you are doing. The doctor is right keep drinking. You need to flush your system out. By drinking fluids this is the way. The first few days you won't see any results but the scale will tip down be patient. Keep us informed on how your doing and don't give up. Were rooting for ya!

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Coming out of the kitchen closet isn't an easy decesion. I grant you that. But being able to talk about to others helps you continue on. Some of my friends were not swayyed one way or the other. Some were "CONGRATS" and a few were shocked! Getting a mixed reaction is apart of our daily lives. Each person has a different outlook on how they view things. Its so true, skinny ppl have no clue what we are up against. They say "just put the fork down". Its much more than that.

Congrats on your current weight loss. Each pound is one pound less you had before. Try not to look back on what you did in the past rather what you are doing now to change it. I too have been up and down the scale before. Feels at times I am married to it!

You have made a decesion to change the way you view food. Having any kind of gastic procedure is a step in the right direction. True as well the pounds are not going to melt away. We still have to work hard on making the right food decesions... not always an easy task.

Keep in touch and read the blogs. They are a great tool for you to learn new techniques and tips on how to stay on track. Wishing you much luck and thank you for writing in.

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I started off only telling immediate family because I didn't want negativity or to have people watching every mouthful and monitoring my progress. I have a team for that!

But now that I am six months out and 100lb down (yay!), I am becoming more comfortable telling people. I have succeeded so I guess a lot of the pressure or fear of failure is gone.

Either way, I feel it is a personal medical matter and I don't discuss my medical situation with everyone.

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