I went to Lane Bryant this past weekend to get sized for a new bra. Before beginning this journey I was a size 46 DDD. I am wearing a 44 DDD right now which is way too big for me. So anyway I get sized and she tells me I'm a 46 between a B and C. What? I stood there in shock. I am thinking there is no way I'm a B at all. So she grabs a few bras and I don't even try on the B's. The C's are way too small. I'm spilling out all over and the place. So after going back and forth I buy a 42D which fits well. I'm checking out and I tell the lady the size thing is pretty off. She gets super defensive and starts in that the measurements here are just meant to be a starting point. What? A starting point for what? She also tells me that a 42 D is equivalent to a 46 B-C. Ummmm....no! Weirdo! I don't know why but I was pretty angry when I left there. While I stood in the dressing room stuffed into a way too small bra I fixated on all the loose skin. UGH! I am starting to feel saggy skin. I am working out pretty hard and really trying to get 70-100 grams of protein a day. I am trying not to stress over it. It is what it is. I'll just start saving for plastic surgery!

I switched trainers. I was having issues with schedules with my old one. So I joined LA Fitness and start with their trainers tonight. I like it because I feel there is more of an education component to it then I was getting previously. I have learned so much already just from my evaluation. I was working way too hard on my cardio. Bringing my heart rate too high and wasn't burning fat but lean muscle. I had no idea. I thought as long as I am sweating its all good. Now I am aware of what my heart rate should be and that I have to keep it at that rate or below to keep burning fat. I will continue to learn and hopefully share what works for me here in case it can help someone else. I hope it can.

I've been way off track with my eating lately. Starting tomorrow I am going to give up any kind of sugar and not eat after 8pm. I think those are my main problems. Night eating and too many sugar cravings. I know the sugar cravings are because I have been eating too much sugar. Sugar begets more sugar. I am trying to break this vicious cycle. This has been the hardest month so far. My exercise has been not consistent due to scheduling and my own laziness. My bad habits have been rearing their ugly heads left and right. I have excuses for my excuses! It all ends today. Back on the wagon right now. I will see 100lbs gone in the next couple of weeks. I will not go back to that 400lb person. I have control of my destiny!