Today is around 5 weeks since I hurt my knee and had to stop exercising. I must say it has been a very frustrating month. I have been doing therapy 3 times a week, now for 3 weeks and seriously there is little improvement. Not sure what I expected, "I think miracles". I guess my saving grace is that at least this did not happen at the beginning of my journey and I had already made progress. I have managed to maintain my weight loss and have even lost a few pounds. But I so much miss exercising, every time I see someone jogging or walking it makes me sad and makes me realize how much we all take for granted. Lap band surgery has given me back my life, I have so much more energy and has helped me re-build confidence in myself. I never realized how much being overweight had effected all aspects of my life. I wonder sometimes why I needed the lap band and why I could not have wrapped my brain around learning to control my portions myself. It took potential life altering health problems to shake me to reality and do something about my weight gain. The band truly is my friend and makes staying on track so much easier. I have thought many times over the past few months about getting a fill in my band so I would be able to lose weight faster. Patience has never been one of my attributes. I have always wanted instant gratification in what ever I did. I am glad I made the decision to work with the band instead of letting the band do all the work. I still have those days when I get stuck and PB, but they are usually because I fail to follow the rules and that is when I reflect back and realize if the band was not there to stop me I would easily revert back to bad behaviors. I honestly think I have found my "sweet spot" I can eat what I am suppose to eat, I rarely feel hunger, and food is not my main thoughts. I do occasionally splurge and allow myself a treat of a miniature chocolate or 100 calorie snack. The difference is I count these in my total daily calorie count. Yes guys I am one of those OCD people that has to count calories, I realize some think we should not have to do this but, I still do not trust myself, or maybe it is not trust but the fact I know myself and I know how easy it is to say: oh, that little bite won't matter, and a couple of desserts later your pants are too tight. I know a lot of you are still struggling to get to the place where I am. Don't give up on your self, each and everyone of us is work the trials and tribulations that we are going through. Believe in your self, because if you don't believe in yourself you can not expect others to. Don't let small roadblocks or set backs take away your focus. We all have common ground, this is a life journey and not a vacation from food. This is us building confidence in ourselves and learning to trust our selves alone in a room with the "evil" that lives inside. We all have our own demons to fight and all of our journeys are individual, we can't compare ourselves to one another and we all have to hold each other accountable. I am approaching my 1 year anniversary next month and I so wanted to be at goal but I know that I will not be there. But you know what? That's OK. Seriously, it is! I am pleased with my progress and realize that I will get there. So, I guess what I have learned most of late, is I have changed. I have moved from Diane the closet eater to Diane the obsessive calorie counter. I have always read that when you give up one addiction you usually develop a new one, well thank you God my obsession is managing my weight loss. So for all of you out there that are still struggling to reach that place where you are happiest, remember the happiness may not always be found in a number you reach on the scale but a happiness from within yourselves.