100lbs down! But still fat.
I'm a 100 lbs down...give or take...scale this morning said 191.8. I'm on a 30 day food challenge and I know I will be down over 100lbs by the end of it so I feel confident in saying it. 100lbs! That's a whole person. There are girls out there who weigh a 100lbs. Cra-zee! I'm happy about it, I am...it's huge progress and I've gotten tons of compliments and I know I look so much better than I used to. But when I face that mirror....I also realize....I'm still fat. Still have so much more weight to lose. It's frustrating and daunting to think about all of the work I have put in and how much I still have to put in now and for the rest of my life. I know it's about the journey and not about the destination but I want the journey to be over already. Coming to the "still fat" realization means facing how delusional I was in the past...looking at myself and thinking "Not that bad". It was that bad! However, I am grateful that I jumped through all of the hoops, made all of the sacrifices and learned what I have learned to get here. And now I just have to believe that I can make it the rest of the way. And if I don't believe it, I have to act as if I do.
Next short term goal....25lbs by end of year. With a few cheat days right after this 30 day challenge just to maintain some sanity and remind myself that bad food isn't that good!
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