This morning my husband had the day off and had to go to DMV. He took my son (who is 2) with him and left pretty early this morning to get there right when they opened. I was able to get up and get ready for work ALL BY MYSELF! It was wonderful. To any of you out there who have more than one child and have to be out of the house in the morning I give you so much credit! It is a lot of work to get just him ready - WHEW!

I started this lapband journey to lose weight because I want to have another child and be healthy. I was 372 pounds on the morning of my surgery. I was disgusted with myself. I was 35 years old and almost 400 pounds. I wasn't getting my period. My knees and back hurt. I was out of control. Since having the surgery I have been selfish in a good way. My husband and I decided that in order for me to be successful I needed to have time at least 3 nights a week to go and work out. That meant he had to stay home with our son in the evenings and we had to change up our budget. It is a big change in our family. Our before lap-band routine was that my husband got home from work at about 7pm we would have dinner that we usually ordered out for (my son had already eaten) and either my husband would go work out and I would clean up, get my son to bed, lay around watch tv or play on the internet- or my husband was home and we would do those things together. Either way I was lazy and I would continuously snack and drink soda while getting things done around the house.

Our routine has changed so much. I now get home from work and cook a healthy dinner for us, play with my son, bathe him and get him to bed. Then 3 nights a week I go over to my friends where our trainer meets us and we work out for a good 2 hours. While most nights I try and think of excuses why not to go - I'm tired, my knee hurts, etc. I go and afterward I feel great! I just push passed those negative thoughts and sweat it all out! (Last night I rode my bike 7 miles!!!) I have been doing this for over 3 months now. My new goal is to do some kind of exercising on the nights I don't work out with the trainer. I'm going to start by just going for a walk after dinner with my family. Maybe opening up those Wii games I have had for years and are still in the boxes! I'm even thinking of borrowing the Insanity DVD's from my neighbor and trying them! (I've also gotten my period regularly for 3 months in a row!)

It is so exciting to do things that I just assumed in the past that I couldn't do. I'm willing to try anything. This morning with my free time before leaving for work I took my coffee into the office and looked up where I can rent kayaks. I've always wanted to try that! You know, lately people have been telling me you look great, I don't even care about it really. Honestly, it is a great side effect of the weight loss but I am more so celebrating my new found freedom! My freedom from stress and worry over whether I will fit in the chair, booth, or amusement park ride and my fears that I am not keeping up with the other Mom's at the park. I have the confidence to try new things now. I hadn't ridden a bike in 15 years and now I've ridden 10 miles. We took my son to Sesame Place and I was able to go on the rides with him, I still had to squish a little , but I had the confidence to try where as before I would have made my husband do it. I still have a long way to go - want to lose another 100 pounds but I am on my way. I am slowly but surely getting there and I am so excited. It makes saying no to my favorite cannolis ok. I am definitely far from a perfect bandster but I am living my life far more than I ever was before and I'm loving it!

Sorry this post is all over the place just wanted to share my thoughts and they are all over the place too!

Hope you all have a wonderful day!