June 27
Well,it has now been 24 days since I was banded and some times it feels like it was forever ago. I know I am eating a lot less than I did before but I am still dealing a great deal with head hunger. I suppose it will always be that way. Being able to come here and talk to others has helped. I still cheat. I had a cookie yesterday and today. There is a time not so long ago that I would have eaten more than one. I also had some ice cream tonight. It's like it calls to me, "Psssst! Hey you! You know you want me. It'll be alright." I know I have lost in size because I wore a blouse and pair of pants that I haven't worn in quite a while to church Sunday. I wore my hair pinned up and people were telling me I looked different. Most don't know I've been banded. My other milestone is that I went to Sam's Club saturday and actually walked through it. I have been having to ride the Old Fart's cart for the last year because it hurt so much to walk. I also walked tonight when I had to go to the grocery to pick up a few things. Small victories. I know some would not think of these things as victories. I am going to try to get motivated to go check out Curves tomorrow or Wednesday. And after my first fill I am going to see about going back to aquatic fitness at the indoor pool. I did that 7 years ago and really enjoyed it. I had even started lap swimming. I gave up and gave in and stopped going. It's hard to get motivated again. Every night I go to bed with good intentions for tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and I just can't seem to get myself to do anything. I can't seem to get up the nerve to leave the house. I think the problem is that I have not actually set a goal. If anybody reads this post and has any suggestions to help get me off my butt, I'll gladly hear them. I need to get out of this depression I seem to stay in too. I know I'm good for something,but I just haven't found it. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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