I have spent the past hour or so reading blogs and catching up on the lap band community. As I was reading it came to me that we have all been given a wonderful opportunity to have the support of thousands of people. People like us, who can over advice from first hand experience and learn from all of our successes and failures. I never introduced myself when I started blogging, I just started pounding away spilling my thoughts and feelings on the page. So her goes, my name is Diane, I am 55 almost 56 this November. I am married, have two children, a boy and a girl and 3 grand children, a dog, Lexi ( She is posted with me in my picture) and a cat, Sassey. I love animals and if I lived in the country would have many more than I do, animals love us unconditionally and don't care if we are fat or thin. How and why did I chose lap band? I have been what you call the professional diet queen. I am 5'1" and have struggled with weight gain after the birth of my first child in the late 70's. I lost the weight and just gained it back with the birth of my second child. I lost that weight and did pretty good until I went to nursing school and packed it right back on. In those early years I could keep it around 180 or 190 but still thought I was fat, but I never realized what fat was until I hit my 40's. That is when I really started to plump up, I reached a high by the time I was 50 of 260's and believe me on a 5'1" frame that is a lot of weight and my knees began to tell the story a few years ago. Three years ago my right knee went out, swollen, painful, difficult to walk, etc. I went to the doctor, they x-rayed and MRI. I had some beginning stages of osteo, thinning of the cartilage on the inner part of my knee joint. The doctor injected with steroids, last about 48 hours and then I did the weekly injections to rebuild the cartilage. It puts the cushion back between the joints. That lasted about 8 weeks. Then the dreaded conversation came up, Diane you need to drop a few pounds. I knew this already, I had two bouts of pneumonia over the past two years, my BP was out of control, and I was having sleep apnea. Oh by the way I forgot to mention I have been a nurse for almost 30 years. You would think as a health care worker we would have better health habits. But no, we probably are one of the most unhealthy group of people because we are always taking care of others and not ourselves. I am very stubborn, duh so I refused to wear a CPAP for the sleep apnea, and when I saw the metal they would put in my body as a joint, I said no way. Off to Jenny Craig I marched, I joined for 500 dollars, bought my meals at 120 plus a week and lost down to 195 lbs. Then it became too expensive and I just knew I could do this on my own, portion control and 1200 calories, a piece of cake I thought. NOT!!!!!!!!!!! I plumped back up to 248 lbs within 2 years of stopping Jenny Craig. So that is how I got to lap band. Live a life of pain and not enjoy life or get off your butt and do something about it. As for the nursing, I am a critical care nurse, so you would think I would know better and make better choices. Oh well that is the past and this is the new me. I involved my family in my journey, I made my appointment for the information meeting and took my husband with me and told all of my family. I figured if I was going to make this a life style I better include the persons in my life so they could be supportive. I thought about not telling the people at work, because sadly I was one of those people who thought weight loss surgery was a cop out. Boy have I changed my mind. so once I scheduled my surgery I told all of my peers at work I was having Lap Band surgery on the 28th of October. Now a very good friend of mine at work, Ron, looked at me shocked and said" your not fat enough to have weight loss surgery." I could have kissed him but instead, I stopped and said, "Ron, I am morbidly obese. My BMI is 47.5. I have to lose weight or I am not going to get to enjoy watching my grandchildren grow up. He looked shocked and said, I had no idea you weighed that much. Thank god for the Ron's and the Paul's(my husband) who love us whether we are skinny or fat and see us for something more than how we look. I will tell you I was scared, I think my biggest fear has been that I will fail, fail to loss and keep it off. But that very fear is my driving force, I will not gain this weight back and I will be successful. The difference for me know compared to back in the dieting days is I am choosing to change my life style with a gentle nudge from my band. I always lost weight on the planned programs I paid for, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, South Beach etc. But when I stopped paying I gained the weight back. Lap Band is a permanent solution to me because as long as i listen to my band, make healthy choices and exercise I will be successful. I know a lot of people struggle with weight loss and the band but in my opinion we fail because we fail to change our behavior. When I don't lose weight now, i sit down and look back at what I am doing. If I am honest with myself, I am snacking between meals, eating past satisfied and not exercising. I chose not to eat sweets, potato chips(which I love), I stay way from carbohydrates, pasta, rice and potato's. Not because I can't have them but because I like them to much and they make me feel over stuffed. I love pizza, can I eat pizza yes, should I eat pizza no. It is full of carbohydrates, so I look for alternatives that satisfy that void. This truly is a journey and you learn about your body and your inner self along the way. For me this journey is not about being skinny it is about learning to make the right choices, developing a healthy life style and spending quality time with my family. So now you no my story. I was banded October 28, 2010. I weighed in at 248 on surgery day and as of today I weigh 180. ( I have been stuck here for several weeks) I started in a size 24 and now wear a size 14. I have lots of shrinkels but who cares, I consider those my battle scars.