It's Friday, and the guys in the office want to order pizza.Wow, what a dilemma since I absolutely LOVE pizza, and haven't had it for abouttwo months. Nope, not even for my infamous 'last supper' before all the liquiddieting. I actually was jonesing for a bacon cheeseburger for my 'last supper'.Boy, did that hit the spot. I can fondly remember it now, and as I type this, I'maware of the creepy smile that is growing on my face. But I digress. Pizza forluch. I already packed my lunch for today. A Muslce Milk Lite (not a favoriteof mine, but I didn't want to bring in the shake mix, and then the CalorieCountdown Milk, and have to wash out my mixing cup and have to remember to takeit home (I'm a guy, I always forget my mixing cups at the office. It'll beSaturday morning, and I'm scouring the house for my mixing cups, when my wifewill remind me that I didn't bring them home so they weren't washed). So it's Muscle Milk, me and a reduced fatstring cheese. Or pizza.

Being my Aspie self, I start to methodicallyand logically scour the internet for caloric information on pizza – it's mymission today to make this pizza logically sound like a healthy decision. I'mfocused and decided now, so there's no stopping me. How many carbs, calories, etc.I'm trying to logically fit this piece of pizza into my routine, AND make it a 'healthy'decision. I could just eat the cheese and maybe a pepperoni or two. Maybe I'llbe totally satiated on just half of the cheese and a single pepperoni. Maybejust one bite. With the dough. After all, my port is wide open, and it almostfeels like I don't have a port at all. Sure, I can handle one bite of doughwith the cheese, and I'll have to make sure that my bite counts and get thatpepperoni in there with it.

Ah, new updated information from my colleague. It's going tobe a really good pizza from the gourmet place down the road (lots of those herein DC). I'm even more determined now to fit that in to my routine. AND keep ithealthy.

So I continue to search, and of course I keep going throughthese forums. I read of how many people have whatever they want, even pizza,within moderation, and making sure that they chew well and get it past theirband. I also read of the people dedicated to the new lifestyle that they havebecome a part of with the band. A turn of a new leaf in their lives. That'swhat it is to me too, I think as I read these. I remind myself that this is alife decision, that I know I took a lot of time, and did a lot of research tomake this decision. That I underwent surgery (and I loathe surgery…not thatanyone really loves it…but I am a firm believer that the body is like a car,once it's at the mechanics to tweak or adjust something, that something willforever squeek, squak , or just not work properly ever again). I know that I'vebeen doing really well, and that I need to reward myself from time to time, toremind me that I am keeping myself on track, not just for myself, but for my family,because that is why I'm doing this. That this is a new lifestyle, and I've gotthe best tools to accomplish this.

I'm going to stop at Trader Joe's on the way home and pickup some Veggie Pepperoni, and save enough fat/carbs to allow myself a 'nice'dinner. I'll get that pizza fix I was set on, but I'm going to do it the rightway, the way that I set out to do. I know the veggie pepperoni is pretty decent(at least that's what I believe), I just wonder if the low fat cheese sticksmelt?

Maybe even a little 'Skinny Girl Margarhita' and a stop at the bookstore on my way home to treat myself.