Ups and Downs

Friday may 20, 2011

Today I woke up feeling amazing. How I hate that word right now. Amazing. Seems everyone over uses it. But that is how I felt. I jumped out of bed ooops forgetting I had surgery. Amazingbecause just day before my innards still felt sore. And nothing today. So I felt really spunky. Worked my butt off made payroll, paid weekly taxes, employee child support payments.Something I detest doing. But hey I am legally bound lol. Hate being responsible for what others should have done all along. Another blog subject!

Then it seemed the day went to crap. My emotions are so close to the edge.

I am thinking about food all the time. What the heck. Mary you are not physically hungry!

Theres the key:

Feeling emotional= thinking of food constantly.

I wonder at what age this started for me. I will have to mull that over in my mind. But it hit me like a ton of bricks. I used to eat whether happy or sad. Always a food to celebrate the moments.

I need to find a release other than food when I am feeling emotionally vulnerable.

Something physical would help but that is limited as I am only one week post surgery.

Sex would be another option but husband is away for four days

Theres me being very open and humorous.

So much to discover about why I am the way I am.

Some things I like, (many things) but so many I dont. But Im a work in progress.