I am eating lunch at work. For once this week, I ate in. I have been struggling with my eating and exercising since I knew that the pre-op diet and surgery are coming up soon. I have been thinking a lot about what I am eating and why. I am beginning to be more aware of my choices, but right now, I am choosing the wrong things. I am ready for the changes to come, but something inside me says that I don't have to start that now.

I was approved to have the surgery by BCBS of Alabama within 2 weeks of submitting all the paperwork. I did not have to do a supervised diet first. I meet with the doctor Monday. When they called me from the office, they said that this would be my last visit with the doctor. I have only seen the surgeon once after the seminar I attended on February 26. Since then I have been working on getting all the necessary appointments and paperwork necessary to submit to the insurance company. I was told that I will also receive some kind of teaching after my appointment on Monday. I hope the surgery is scheduled, and I am instructed on the pre-op diet. The nutritionist only discussed the post-op diet, so I dont' know what my surgeon requires pre-op.

I am ready for a new way of life. I don't think that all my problems will be solved by the weight loss, but I do expect to enjoy my life more and be more comfortable in my own skin. I am tired of being the biggest person in my work environment, in church, etc. I don't want to be skinny. I just want to be a normal healthy weight. I have always been overweight and struggled with food issues. I am ready to let that go. I know it will be hard to change the way that I have always thought about food, but I accept that I have to do this. I am doing this for me...my health, my confidence, my future. It is scary to think that I have come to the place where I am choosing to have surgery, but I have come to believe that this is what is best for me. I am thankful for this opportunity to change my life.