Banded: 10/21/09

Pre-op/Surgery/Current/Goal

302.6/294/273.2/140

I am new to blogging so bear with me.

I have always been overweight as long as i can remember. Obesity runs in my family. Everything that i would do revolved around eating. Family outings started with a meal and ended with a meal and when i would go out with my friends the first question was always "Where are we going to eat?" In 2002, I lost my father to cancer and fell into a depression. My comfort and support was over course food. After his death, I graduated high school and entered nursing school. In nursing school, you have no time to do anything. I had to work so my week consisted of Monday-Thursday school all day followed by studying all night until i had to wake up and do it all the next day. Friday-Sunday was working and studying so of course all week long was whatever you could get fast, grab it and eat on the run. the pounds just added up.

I got engaged in 2007 so of course dieting and worrying was my priority just like everyone else in the world when they get engaged...all my dieting did was make me more anxious and eat more. We went to beautiful Riviera Maya for our honeymoon in 2008 and it was a BIG wake up call for me. Everyone was gorgeous there and i felt like I was missing out d/t physical limitations. After we got back, i made a promise to myself that I needed to change something. This is when i started to seriously consider surgery instead of ANOTHER unsuccessful diet.

I attended my seminar in January of 2009 and continued to seriously consider surgical intervention. I was nervous and anxious about not only the procedure but telling my loved ones that i was going to go this route. my husband, of course, attended the seminar and knew the entire time but no one else knew until i finally decided that I was going to go through with the lap-band. i chose the lap-band over gastric bypass because i felt it was a safer procedure with a quicker recovery and being a nurse, i did a lot of research. I finally told my loved ones. My mom did not take it well, as expected. i believe it was more of a concern for the risks of the surgery rather than what the reasoning was. After about a week, she became supportive, along with everyone else in my life. I cleared everyone and was approved and scheduled my surgery for October 21, 2009.

I started my journey on October 7th at 302lbs (BMI: 47). I started my pre-op diet and lost 8lbs. I went into surgery on October 21st at 294lbs (BMI: 46) with Dr Uchal at Allegheny General Hospital in my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. I had a small setback when i went to get my first fill in December. He couldn't hit my port to fill it. He had to take me under fluoroscopy and still couldn't fill it. My port had flipped post-op somehow so i had to go back into the OR for a small procedure to flip and re-suture the port.

Finally I was on track and started to lose again. I lost 20-30lbs by the beginning of 2010. I plateaued and started to get discouraged. I never could make it under 270lbs. I started to feel like a failure and my self-esteem got the best of me. I have had low self-esteem my entire life. I started to feel terrible and instead of going to Dr Uchal, i started to give up. I didn't follow-up like i should have. when i finally brought myself to follow-up, he filled my band a little more and told me to follow-up. Before I could get my appointment set up, i got a letter that he had moved his practice out of state. So this gave me another excuse to not follow-up since I wasn't losing. i have to find a new doctor to follow up with.

Finally, I decided to step back and take a good look at my life and i realized that i was no happier now than i was prior to my surgery. The only positive for me was that i did not gain a lot of weight back. i just stayed between 275-280lb.

About a week and a half ago, I decided to suck it up and get back on track and get the happiness I deserve. Its time for me to start thinking about myself first instead of last. I am a nurse so all day at work, I think about everyone else and listen to everyone else's problems. So with my husbands support (that never stopped in the first place) we went out and bought he Xbox Kinect and the biggest loser game. It kicks my butt. It is so hard but its just what I needed to get back on the weight loss boat! Since I have started this program, i got back into he lapbandtalk website for the support of others and lost 6.7lbs!

Well since its has been so long since my procedure and I have never blogged, my story is a little long...but truthful!

Hoping to stay on track and be as successful as i know I am capable.