I had a conversation with my cousin last night and she said something very strange to me.... "Bren, don't change who you are when you are thin." I thought... what an odd thing to have someone say to you. So we discussed it and I understood what she meant more.

She said, some people trade one addiction for another...

Then she talked about a friend of her's whose sister would become indignant if someone mentioned how great she looked after losing weight.

Then you have the ones who become better than everyone else

And worse yet, the floozies, who don't know how to handle attention without doing it on their backs.

And lasty, I read a post about someone who was sick of people asking how much weight they had lost, on this here weight loss forum... and all the comments that followed. And it made me think of the bigger picture.

The truth is, we live in a world that is obsessed by a persons physical appearance, and the amount of pure hate and prejudice heaped on people who are fat is immeasurable. I myself live in a ridiculously prejudice part of the country. Cowboys with stickers on their trucks of a boy pissing on fat chicks. You name it. The ridicule is endless. Getting jobs, being taken seriously by doctors, even enjoying a night out with a meal has been difficult. I've endured so much hate in my life.

But now as with then I prefer to take the high road. My surgery and my weight loss haven't been advertised. But if people notice and say something to me, I am certainly not going to take offense. Rather it is an opportunity to educate people in some fashion or another. To connect with people. If people notice and ask questions, you don't have to be a nasty person. Because the first person you should be doing this for is YOURSELF! It's not anyone's business if I lose or don't lose, but they will notice, and they will ask. Being honest with even strangers can change their way of thinking.

How many times has someone asked you... "How are you?". How many times do you think they really meant it to hear the real answer? Many years ago I started giving people the TRUTH! And I never ask that question unless I am prepared for the real answer. I don't want to hear... "We're fine". I want to hear... how you REALLY are! Maybe it makes your life too personal to the world, but you cannot imagine the effects you can have on other people with your honesty.

Most people are good natured and when they ask a question they may well be facing their own battle and want to connect. Our world has become far too seperate. We don't care about our own neighbors. We have to start caring again. I don't want to stand in the middle of a crowd and feel completely alone any longer. If you ask me about my weight loss, I am going to tell you, and I'm going to ask you a question about your life, and maybe... we'll help one another.

Just be who you are... no matter what body fits around it.

Bren