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Fat Girl Moments....#FatGirlMoments

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Yvette1026

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These are the moments where I realize how fat I once was, am and no matter how much weight I lose, will be.. It's because it's not on the outside it's on the inside. It's a mental thing.

 

I sit here writing this... 80lbs....wait make that 83lbs from goal. As someone who can lose 10+lbs in a week.. I really have no excuse to not hit my goal by my birthday in Oct. Even if losing at a slower rate.

 

This week, I hit the lowest number I'd been since I've been on this journey and it felt so good.....I then proceeded to make these "victory meals", cause that's what you do when you have something to celebrate right?!?!? #FatGIrlMoment - There was Ribeye Steak, Pork Sirloin Steak, "Light" Jello Salads ok....not so bad, but then we got to the mashed potatoes.. It's a celebration let's load them up... Garlic mashed potatoes, with triple cheddar cheese, with a touch of cream cheese and butter oh and bacon, and finally green onion for color.... These potatoes were and have been a meal in themselves for me in the past. They're so good they come straight out of my "Get Your Man" recipes/book I'm working on. But that's besides the point, the point to this is.. through the celebratory eating over the last 3 days I have gained 3lbs...

 

Last night having seen the scale move up 2lbs I decided "It's ok I'm gonna work out hard and lose it again" and I REALLY REALLY REALLY want donuts. So off to walmart I go, in the middle of the night for donuts, they didn't have the kind I wanted.. so I settled for my 2nd favorite again justifying it in my head, it's ok... I haven't had them in Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long, I think I may have actually caught myself talking to them about how I'd missed them at one point. #FatGirlMoment

 

But here's the kicker.. today when I got on the scale, I actually got on the scale with a donut in my hand and was eating it as I looked down at the scale, half expecting it to move down. No shock and awe here....it was up, I'd offically gained 3lbs in just over 3 days....

 

Things like this is exactly why it's SO important for us to get the mental aspect about losing weight. Why it's SO important to understand our relationship with food and how it effects us, not only our bodies but our emotions as well.

 

I look forward to my #FatGirlMoments both good and bad as they're always a learning experience for me. And this time I learned a big one.... Everything we pick up is a choice, everything we eat can either move us closer to our goal or further from our goal and that's how we have to look at it. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time.

It's not easy... but I'm in faith I can and WILL do this!.

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Boy have we all not been there done that! lol It felt good at the moment to eat those things though huh? But gee the guilt afterwards is just aweful. Then to have to deal with the scale. You have to ask yourself - gee is it really worth going through all that for? I fell off the band wagon so to speak just not too long ago. I am back on it now though. What a rude awakening. Ha ha. Why does life have to be such a struggle all the time? :(

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I am surprised your band let you eat all that bad food. Shame on your band not working for you. And congrats to you for writing this blog and opening the eyes for others, like me. Yesterday was a boring day for me and it seemed like I ate and ate but I ate only the good stuff. And then there was the scales thinking, oh no......I have gained but nope was the same to my surprise. Today, I am going to be better and not piece all day like I did yesterday. That's the plan.

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After being on the liquid diet for 2 weeks I was feeling so successful, and so much hunger, that I went and had a meal at a chinese restaurant. Then a few days later pizza at my neices birthday party. Then a burger and artichoke dip. I actually made myself sick the night before surgery. WHY? Why did I need to reward myself by undermining myself and punishing my stomach? BECAUSE.... that's how it has always been done. I knew I couldn't look my doctor in the eye after having done all that, but kept telling myself... I only ate 3 times. That self talk didn't help much.

What I have focused on since those events is this... I have no willpower. And willpower isn't important. What is important is to make up your mind to do something, and no longer give yourself any excuses for not doing it. You can reason with yourself in that cirumstance, and you are fully aware of when you are lying to yourself. I don't DESERVE that meal. I didn't do anything to EARN it. I have to find another way to pat myself on the back; and to give myself something else I DESERVE that won't hurt me or my goals.

Here's a tried and true trick I've started using for those moments when your brain shuts off and your animalistic ravenousness kicks in. I picked up some marinated garlic cloves at the olive bar at Safeway. Then we had several dinner parties, WHILE I was on a liquid diet. And I was the cook. When I began that self talk about how a little wouldn't hurt, or I could just this once, just a taste isn't bad, I would break out the garlic, stick a whole clove in my mouth, and chew it for all it was worth until it was completely pulverized.

HOLY COW did it burn, tingle, taste, and SATISFY. It is like putting a big red stop sign in front of your face, changed the focus, gave me a crunch, a munch, and a feeling of flavor, burned out my nostrils and tongue, and I was good to sit down, watch everyone else enjoy the meal and drink my vitamin water.

I don't think a clove of garlic is something to feel guilty over, something that will hurt, nor something that will derail you. It really really works for me... give it a try.

Bren

P.S.

The best way to stop craving sugar is to completely irradicate it in every way from your life. I've done this and my diabetes is VERY under control now, dropped 7 pills and all the insulin in 2 weeks.

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<br>Boy have we all not been there done that! lol It felt good at the moment to eat those things though huh? But gee the guilt afterwards is just aweful. Then to have to deal with the scale. You have to ask yourself - gee is it really worth going through all that for? I fell off the band wagon so to speak just not too long ago. I am back on it now though. What a rude awakening. Ha ha. Why does life have to be such a struggle all the time? <img src="http://cdn.lapbandtalk.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif" class="bbc_emoticon" alt=":("><br>
<br><br>It's all a process my dear, we'll get through it one way or another ;)

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I am surprised your band let you eat all that bad food. Shame on your band not working for you. And congrats to you for writing this blog and opening the eyes for others, like me. Yesterday was a boring day for me and it seemed like I ate and ate but I ate only the good stuff. And then there was the scales thinking, oh no......I have gained but nope was the same to my surprise. Today, I am going to be better and not piece all day like I did yesterday. That's the plan.

<div><br></div><div>Awesome glad it could help....that's what I write these for. :) But the band, you know it's just a tool and won't/can't really stop you from eating anything...and unlike most people who say they can't eat this or that....yeah I'm not that way...I can eat EVERYTHING... except peanut butter, which SUCKS cause I <3 peanut butter lol. </div>

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After being on the liquid diet for 2 weeks I was feeling so successful, and so much hunger, that I went and had a meal at a chinese restaurant. Then a few days later pizza at my neices birthday party. Then a burger and artichoke dip. I actually made myself sick the night before surgery. WHY? Why did I need to reward myself by undermining myself and punishing my stomach? BECAUSE.... that's how it has always been done. I knew I couldn't look my doctor in the eye after having done all that, but kept telling myself... I only ate 3 times. That self talk didn't help much. What I have focused on since those events is this... I have no willpower. And willpower isn't important. What is important is to make up your mind to do something, and no longer give yourself any excuses for not doing it. You can reason with yourself in that cirumstance, and you are fully aware of when you are lying to yourself. I don't DESERVE that meal. I didn't do anything to EARN it. I have to find another way to pat myself on the back; and to give myself something else I DESERVE that won't hurt me or my goals. Here's a tried and true trick I've started using for those moments when your brain shuts off and your animalistic ravenousness kicks in. I picked up some marinated garlic cloves at the olive bar at Safeway. Then we had several dinner parties, WHILE I was on a liquid diet. And I was the cook. When I began that self talk about how a little wouldn't hurt, or I could just this once, just a taste isn't bad, I would break out the garlic, stick a whole clove in my mouth, and chew it for all it was worth until it was completely pulverized. HOLY COW did it burn, tingle, taste, and SATISFY. It is like putting a big red stop sign in front of your face, changed the focus, gave me a crunch, a munch, and a feeling of flavor, burned out my nostrils and tongue, and I was good to sit down, watch everyone else enjoy the meal and drink my vitamin water. I don't think a clove of garlic is something to feel guilty over, something that will hurt, nor something that will derail you. It really really works for me... give it a try. BrenP.S. The best way to stop craving sugar is to completely irradicate it in every way from your life. I've done this and my diabetes is VERY under control now, dropped 7 pills and all the insulin in 2 weeks.

<div><br></div><div>Bren, thank you for taking the time to read and respond. I think you missed my point, being new here and new to the surgery you'll get to know these struggles and my writing styles if you continue to read my blog. I'm glad your tricks are working for you and I wish you all the best in your journey. </div><div><br></div><div>At over a year out, I (and most here) can tell you it's a cyclical process. You start out gung-ho and fight with whatever issue you have, as you mentioned in your case it's willpower, in mine it wasn't, never was. I did my 3 weeks pre-op no problem. But you start out gung-ho, then get comfortable and lax, then get complacent, because you think you "know" and the face is you don't because you body is constantly changing and your band changes with every fill. </div><div><br></div><div>If you were to go back, you'll see some stark differences in my just post-op and my year + posts, but you'll also see some similarities because I said, this entire process is cyclical. </div><div><br></div><div>At any rate, best wishes to you and I wish you success on your journey. </div>

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Would not have read this unless I read your new one, I'm afraid how to say this, so I'll just say it....I get what you're saying!

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