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shonette

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I have found myself feeling very unsure about a lot of things lately. My job, marriage, personal relationships, and my band have often been the center of my frustrations. I thank God every single day for having a good job to work at, but lately things are so over whelming with mess! I supervisor two departments with a total of 36 staff members, and they are all woman. Do I need to say any more! I hope this does not sound offensive to anyone, but woman are some of the most emotional creations God has created. They bring their personal issues with them to work ex. (sick kids, bills, relationship issues, and lord help me "their endless gossip"), and I have had enough of their endless nonsense. Every single day it seems to be one more endless issue with work related drama. I do understand it's all apart of my job but I am worn out daily with the constant counseling, investigating issues, and being a peace maker.

 

For some reason, I initially thought my marriage would get better once I started to lose the weight. But honestly, our issues are not weight related and our communication break down continues to be broken. Yes, I do love my husband, and yes he is capable of being a great man. However, he continues to put himself before his family and he really don't see why I am always frustrated and upset by his choices and decisions. The poor communication breakdown makes things that much worst between us. We have been together for over 16 years, but I feel like I am living in a time zone because things often remain the same between us. I have often visited the question (do I go or stay.) We have a 5 year old son who adores his father and my 18 yr daughter who now has a 7 month old son adores him too. My grandbaby is very attached to my husband so I will be viewed as the bad person, because I try really hard not to involve the kids in our issues. Its several things that I have settled with for years that’s not okay with me any more. Am I being the unfair person?

 

Several of my long time friendships have sort of drifted away due to the lack of communications we have. I often find myself so wrapped up in my family, church, and my job until it’s very little time in my day for anything else. So, slowly but surely my friendships have drifted away. I continue to have two close friends and I do make an effort t to nourish those relationships a lot more (as best as my free time will allow me to)!

 

I am nearly 7 months post band and I make every effort daily to follow the rules of my band, but sometimes I really don’t workout like I should or would like to workout. I try to be as active as possible daily, but I still feel like I should be doing more when I read about other’s success. I do know and understand that every single person is totally different, but sometimes I do question if I am doing my best. I have posted some recent pictures but I really feel like my body and weight lost should be more advance than it is. Sometimes I feel so good about my progress and other days I continue to see that fat person staring back at me in the mirror.

 

I really don’t know why I have been on an emotional roller coaster! For so many years I have always been the strong and supportive person for everyone around me, but sometimes I want and need someone to be those things for me. I do know that God will not put more on me than I can bear, therefore I will continue to lend on my faith and stop feeling sorry for poor (ME)!

 

This post may have been more information than I needed to share, but I do feel so much better to get some of this stuff off of my chest. Thanks for the listening ears.

 

 

 

 

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Thanks for sharing. I had some negative thoughts the other day too. Mostly about my band and stress at work. It does help to know that I am not alone and if I take anything from this site it is that. WE are not ALONE.

All the best!

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Sounds like your job is getting to you! Sorry to hear that. I would advise you to try to work things out with your husband if you can. I feel that sometimes people give up too easy. Try to find an outlet be it church, friends or whatever. Sometimes the band puts you on an emotional roller coaster for sure. Hang in there and keep your chin up. Take care. :)

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I really do appreciate everyone's response. It does help to know that you are not the only person who is feeling a certain way about your life. I do feel like having this band increases my emotional ups and downs at times. I want to succeed in my weight lost so band and it does become a little stressful when things don't happen the way I want them to. I often feel like there is never enough time in my day to do all the things I would like to. That alone causes some of my frustation when things don't get accomplished. I really have to find some quiet time for myself if it's no more than 30 minutes! Again, thanks.

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Shonette:

I think around here (in the cold NOrth) we have named February the most depressing time of year! Its cold, we only get about 8 hours of sunlight a day. Christmas bills and such are weighing us done, tax season.. all of it. To be banded in January and face February now, the busiest time for me at work... I have had to make the decision to take care of myself, no matter what else happens. It will fall in to place.

I used to be the kind of gal that swept the floor everyday, cleaned the entire house every week and had to be the first one to the office. Now, I sweep the floor a couple of times a week, spot clean the house and do ONE room every week and waltz in to work AFTER Ive done my exercise for the day. I know this may not be possible for you but I just wanted to let you know that some things can afford to spare your time FOR YOU! GOOD LUCK! HANG IN THERE!

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Shonnette, It is time to put yourself first. You are worth it! I have had to tell myself that after running my 4 children to all of their winter sports. I informed them that we are going to forgo the spring sports and go as a family to the Y instead so I can take care of me. They have been very supportive. I think we give so much to everyone else that it is hard to relearn that behavior to take care of ourselves and allow us to endulged in putting ourselves first. The way I figure it...the healthier I am the better it will be for my entire family. I do agree that there is a lot of redefining relationships in the process. We redefine our relationship with food and with others. I think we could all learn a little bit from men....it is true that most do not have a problem putting themselves first. :) Good luck and much success!

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I really do appreciate all of the advice to put myself first. I do find myself getting upset with my family for not doing things they should be doing. Instead of me holding each of them accountable for their own actions, I do things myself and I become very angry the entire time I am doing whatever it is. I need to redefine my roles and responsibility with my love ones and make them accountable for their own actions and responsibilities in the house.

Dadkins8: you are so correct when you stated men have no problem with putting themselves first. My husband is the perfect example of doing that very well!

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Hey girl!!!! I thought I was the ONLY one going through some serious moments right now. I am doing okay. I came off of here for a little while because i was starting to compare my self to others weightloss again. And I need to get my head in the game after all the holidays. My job is stressing me out completely but by the grace of God at least I still have one. I feel sometimes I put so much pressure on my self its unreal. I am doing good again with the weightloss (at least I think) I am 3 months out andI have lost the little I gained at xmas and a little more. I will get weighed actually tomorrow at my 3 month followup. So pray for me girl!!! I will keep you posted. I will personal message you tommorrow with what else is going on in my life. promise! Until then keep your head up and remember we all are in this lapband struggle together. Email me if you need to chat (whenever). I have felt like you feel in your marriage and I am dealing with a husband who really doesnt beleive I should have went to this for help. But maybe we can be each others moral support. just let me know. Dee

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