I will fully admit that I am new to this. I have never blogged before. I'm fairly new to weight loss surgery. But one of the ways that I think I can help hold myself accountable for my weight loss is through this blog. If people read, great. If not, that's fine too. At least it's a spot for me to journal what I'm going through. So here I go...

Lap Band. I've got one. I'd thought about getting one in the past as my weight continued to balloon out of control. But I was always so nervous about it. I didn't want to be one of those people that couldn't lose the weight on my own. So I would diet. I would exercise. I'd lose weight -- 20 pounds here, 50 pounds there -- but it would always come back. However much I lost and then some. So I finally decided I needed to do something to save my life. I set up an appointment with Dr. Hung to discuss having a lap band. I hadn't been on a scale in a couple years. Even at my annual physicals, the physician stopped weighing me. I think they knew I was big. Real big. And they didn't do much more than that. So I stepped on the scale at the doctors and there it was. The number I was dreading to see. 345.7 pounds. I immediately thought -- I have no idea how I got this big. But that's a lie. I knew exactly how I got that big. Mindless eating, fast food, eating way more than one person should, drinking alcohol to the point of excess, late night food, not exercising. There was a list that went on and on. And I could have stopped right then and there. But the nurse that weighed me knew what I was feeling and knew what to say, "Okay, that's the last time you're ever going to see that number."

So fast forward through the doctors appointments, through the pulmonary specialists, the psychiatrists, the physicians, the pre-op diet, the actual surgery to six months later. Here I am. I have lost weight ... quite a bit of weight ... and I'm happy with that. But not happy enough. Today I weigh 287.8. I've lost 57.9 pounds since that first day at the doctors. And I'm ecstatic about that. I feel better. I look better. People have commented how well I'm doing. But it's not enough. I have officially stalled. I weighed 286.6 before Christmas. Since then I've fluctuated between 283 and 290. That was seven weeks ago. In almost two months I haven't lost anything. Fortunately, I'm not completely upset with that to the point of quitting. I try to be positive about it. It was the holiday season. It's not an excuse. It's an inevitability. And looking at the last how many years of my life, I've never continually lost. It's always been an increase in weight.

But I'm not settling for 60 pounds. I want another 60 gone, and then some. I was a self-pay patient for this surgery, so my wallet has lost $16,000. I don't want that to be for nothing. I know all the tools. I know what I need to do. I know the band isn't a cure-all. It's a tool to use in order to help you lose weight. So I'm getting back to basics. I'm journaling all my food and drinks. All day every day. Not just during the week and then letting things slide during the weekend. I'm not going to sneak food off of my family and friends plates like I have been lately. I'm going to start exercising again. I'm going to make this work for me. I have to. Sure 60 pounds is great. But I'm still obese. 287 pounds isn't where I want to spend my life. I want to be able to feel more comfortable with myself.

So here we go, band. Let's get this journey going again. The six month honeymoon period is officially over. Now the real work begins. And I want it to. I want to be successful and hold myself accountable. Which is why I've started this blog. Time to be accountable for my actions. February 9, 2011 ... 287.8. Let's see how it goes for the next six months!!