I haven't posted in a long time...first, I was busy with the crazy holiday season at work. Then I went to England for Christmas. I actually got a fill the day before I was flying overseas! Not recommended, by the way! I hardly ate anything before I got on the plane and not quite half the (awful) meal on the plane. Mainly drank water the whole time. But it wasn't until after I landed that I really felt the restriction! I got to my in-laws' house and my husband's mom had prepared this huge meal! Ugh!! Roast chicken, veggies, mashed potatoes, roasted potatoes...I ate some of the chicken and some of the veggies...and then had to throw up! It was awful. I was so tight from the pressure on the plane, I guess. It was just that one day, but wow...rough at first!

Well, I lie...it was rough food-wise the whole time! His mom cooks the most rich food you can imagine!! And even though my portions were smaller, it was packed full of fat (I'm sure) and carbs and generally good-tastin' stuff! Ha! I gained about 4 pounds in the 2 weeks I was there! When I got home, though, I had the WORST cold/flu I've ever had and lost it all in 3 days.

On the 3rd day after I got home, I got a text message from my husband's mom saying Mark (my husband) was in the hospital with a chest infection. (He still lives there because we are waiting for his greencard.) So I called the hospital the next morning to find out how he was. He had taken a BIG turn for the worse and was in the ICU, sedated and ventilated. They advised me to come over as quickly as I could. So I booked a ticket BACK to England and flew out the next afternoon. Crazy. I was so sick, coughing, sniffling and trying not to eat much (because of my last experience) all at 36,000 feet above the Atlantic. It was hard trip! But it was harder once I got there. Mark's mom was in tears when she saw me. We drove straight to the hospital where he had been sedated for 3 days at that point.

Tests found he had swine flu of all things! He had cancer a few years ago and now has a lot of lung problems. Anytime he gets an infection or virus, it sits in his lungs and he can't clear it. So it developed into pneumonia. Now, nearly 4 weeks after getting the initial call that he was in the hospital, he is STILL in ICU over there. I came back after about 10 days over there. But there were a few times while I was there that we were very close to losing him. He developed other infections while they were trying to clear the H1N1. He had to go on dialysis because his kidneys were failing. His heart rate was 125bpm and his temp was 104. We watched other patients in the ward DIE of this while I was there. SO hard! Thank God he started to improve a little bit before I left. He's had a few bad days since, but more ok, than bad. They had to do a trach and they finally stopped his sedation a couple days ago. Now it's a matter of his waking up...though he it still on a ventilator.

So...between the stress, the trips back and forth to England and super rich food over there, I haven't lost a flippin' pound since my fill in December! Well, I did gain 4, lost 4, gained 3, lost 3...now I'm stuck.

And I am frustrated. But I am also finding that I'm literally getting "stuck" a bit too often. So, I might not get a fill on Wednesday when I go in...or I might even have a slight UNfill...ugh.

It's just been a really crappy month. And I am mad at myself for eating "junk." Even though I HAVE been going to the gym every other day. I am still not losing much. And I'm still worried about Mark.

Oh sheesh...sorry to ramble on and on...

~ Maggs

P.S. Attached is a photo of me, Mark and our niece, Freya from our trip up to Scotland right after Christmas.