Wow, so much to say and so little time to say it all! So, here's what I'm going to do. My next episode of "That Crazy Fat Chick" will be all about returning to the forum and some of the issues, concerns and questions everyone has. Now,here's the thing: I tell it straight up like it is, so if that's not your cup of high protien meal replacement then don't tune in. But I have a super postive outlook and a great sense of humor, so if you wanna', look me up. In the meantime:

It's been a loooooong time since I've around. Shit happens? You know? Seriously, I've been through some horrible, work related issues: wrongful termination hearing, Lawyers, hearing officers, all that mess...it's a long and not very interesting story, so I won't bore you with the details, but I'll tell you this: When the going gets tough, I wanted to do what all fat people want to do and that's EAT! Now, notice I said "WANTED" to do, not "DID" do. No, I didn't handle the stress...and man, was there stress, by eating. Actually, I wasn't even tempted, but I knew...I knew that demon was waiting...just waiting for me to slip. The demon came to me in the earthly form of Terrence Howard and spoke to me in the voice of Sam Elliott. Demon Terrence/Sam carried a large platter covered in white chocolote, peppermint bark (my favorite) and was saying, "oooooonnnne pieeeeeece, Wendy...juuuuuuuuust one, come on, yooooooou can handle juuuusssst one can't you?"

Yeah, I didn't eat, but do you know the concept of Abraham Maslow's, Hierarchy of Needs? Well, if you don't, here he is, in a nutshell: Abe believed that humans had certain "basic" needs; (food, water, sleep and warmth.) He illustrated these needs by constructing a Pyramid model with these most important needs at the bottom and broadest part of the pyramid. At the upper portion of the pyramid were things like, security of employment, friends, family, and self actualization. He believed that if humans did not have their very 'basic" needs met then they could move on to other needs. So, if you're freezing and starving to death, you can't really deal with the fact that you haven't had a bath in a month. And yes, I'm going somewhere with this.

SO...from this philosophy, I adopted my own,"Wendy's Hierarchy of Food Addiction Needs Pyramid. It's very simple: When my life is teetering on going straight into the crapper and I'm SUPER STRESSED, it's all I can to to make sure that I stay "food sober" and don't eat. The not binging thing takes up the entire lower half of my Pyramid, so can't really focus on fun, friends or blogging...just trying to hang on. Make sense?

And I did hang on, and one the first day of my hearing I can tell you I was the hottest Bitch in that courtroom. And, hey, win. lose or draw, it's all about being in a size 8, baby! But seriously, I can remember my mom saying, "You have the idea that if you're thin, your life will be perfect." She wasn't right, of course, but she almost was. I don't feel like being thin makes my life perfect, but I do feel like if I can manage my food addiction, monster of an albatross that I've carried around my neck for most of my life, then anything else is a walk in the park.

Do what you have to do and kick your albatross's ass, baby!

Kisses,

W